My Own
by Laylinka
Summary: The consuming of human flesh was spiritual for Kevin. He thought it to fill him with God's love. He was happy and fulfilled until the day it stopped working. Having lost his faith, desperate and reaching out, someone else hears his angelic voice.
1. Chapter 1

Started: June 2011

Finished: January 2014

**CH 1**

My dad left when I was very young, not wanting anything to do with me. The times where still good back then. My mother used to love me until the drugs got a hold of her. I was 13 then. My mother was always on drugs and her boyfriend got angry broke things and yelled at her a lot. He was always unreasonable, manipulative and full of rage. Sometimes I'd speak my mind to him and tell him he shouldn't be so ungrateful and to stop taking his anger out on my mom and that there's plenty of places he could seek help from. He would just go nuclear so I pretended he doesn't exist. There was a huge blow out, one of many but the last one I stayed around for. My mother wasn't who she used to be.

Now I live on the street. I found an abandon apartment building to stay in. I've lived in these conditions for 2 months. I secretly wash in public restrooms. I have no job and no money. I've considered becoming a prostitute, but the lifestyle scares me. I don't feel safe with the clients or the diseases that go around. I'd rather become a stripper then a prostitute. I have self respect but there just aren't many jobs around. I'm blond, blue eyed and 5'4. My name is Elisha.

I was in a mini mart planning on stealing some food when I saw this guy. He was very tall dressed to the hilt in Goth clothes. He had long straight black hair. Perhaps I stared longer then I should've. He seemed not to notice. I saw there was someone else with him; he looked an even bigger spectacle then the taller one. His make up was a disaster and was he wearing a dress? I was casually looking for an opportune moment to pocket some candy bars when the shorter one that was in fact wearing a dress, came up to me.

"Hello, would you like to come to a party tonight?"

I opened my mouth, surprised. "Ahh," I tried not to stare or look disturbed by his appearance. "Um, no. No thank you." I answered.

"Aww," he looked down sincerely hurt. "My friend will be disappointed." He looked up at me. "See you around then." He walked away looking dejected. I avoided them the rest of the time they were in the store. In fact I wanted to run out of the store but I was starving and had to wait for a good time to pocket something. They finally checked out then sped off with loud music blaring.

I was walking back to the abandoned building I was staying in when I heard loud music of a car pulling up behind me. I didn't want to look because I didn't think it had anything to do with me. The car crept along beside me. My heart beat faster.

"Hi," said the smarmy guy with the long black hair. "We're going somewhere to get high. You should come with us." I shook my head and said no. His friends joined in.

"Aww, come on. It will be fun." They laughed. "We promise you'll have a good time."

"No." I got a chilling feeling and started to run ducking into an alley way.

"Come on! We'll bring you right back here when we're done with you!" One of them shouted and laughed. I heard them step on the gas and turn sharply into the alleyway chasing me, laughing and their music blaring.

"HELP SOMEONE HELP!" I screamed. I ran into an alley where a car couldn't follow, around a corner and ran into a tall fence. I looked desperately for a place to hide. There was a door but it was too far away for me to run into before being seen. The car stopped at the end of the alley. The five guys got out of the car, lead by the tall dark haired one.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed.

"Hello again," the one in the dress cooed. I got up the courage to run past pushing one as hard as I could.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" I growled. He grabbed me by my shoulders and hauled me backwards till my back hit the fence. I was let go and I went to fight but both my arms where held back by the other guys. Then suddenly the long haired one had his hand around my neck.

"Have you ever been choked during sex?" he asked casually. "It can be very arousing." I looked away. "Look at me."

I looked into the tall ones' dark eyes encased in black liner.

"I like the Goth girls, they are quite beguiling but," he ran his hand down my hair. "I have fantasies about fucking the pretty blond, blue eyed ones," he said as he fondled my breast. "The ones that might be afraid of me. In fact…" He moved his hand down further, past my belly and groped me between my thighs. "I want them more when they are afraid of me." As if on cue his friends started to disrobe me while I was held by the throat.

"SOMEBODY HELP! HELP!" I cried and no one came. Tears fell.

"Tears are sexy. I see them a lot when I'm making love with girls."

Suddenly a young man interjected and started to attack them with what appeared to be some kind of martial art. Bending, twisting and breaking their limbs too quick for them to run. He wore glasses and was not dressed like anyone from the city. Striking, slicing and kicking a couple of them to quick for them to yell. I turned to run, not looking back and then I fell unconscious.

I awoke realizing I was on a cold floor. I opened my eyes to a harsh light that the filled the very empty area. A boyish figure crouched over me with incandescent blue eyes. I looked him over and quickly realized he was the young man who saved me. "You." I breathed out a breath of relief. He watched me closely, gazing over my figure and face. "Where am I?" I rubbed my head. "What happened?" I asked, lifting myself up. He remained crouched in front of me while I lifted myself to sit. My question wasn't answered, so I asked again; "Where am I?" The young man just stared at me. He was smiling, though I couldn't understand why. Nothing was particularly happy at the moment. I wasn't giving off a happy "hello" attitude, so why was he smiling? I looked into his blue eyes and they stared back at me, becoming strange.

I looked around. The walls are concrete, like a basement. Why would I be in a basement? The place looks strange and, distressing. I stood slightly uneasy and he rose as well and we stood face to face.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" I asked disappointedly. No answer. I put my hands on his shoulders and tried to shake him out of the trance he looked like he was in. "Hey. Why aren't you talking to me?" Why is he playing with me like this? I thought to myself. I got this strange sense of foreboding even though he saved me back in the alleyway. I needed to go.

"Look," I began warily, using a different approach. "You don't have to talk to me, and I should just go." I tired step past him. He stopped me with an outstretched hand. His eyebrows rose slightly. I took a deep breath. "Why? You're not even talking to me." He turned and I watched him leave the room. I wanted to say don't leave, but I kept quiet. I wondered why he didn't speak. What is the matter with him? I thought. My eyes wandered and what I saw startled me.

"Heads," I said in disbelief, a slight nervousness rising. "There are," I gulped not able to finish my sentence. Are they real? That's so weird. I instantly started to explain them away. He could be someone totally obsessed with morbid décor. I got the feeling that he might be eccentric. No reason to think he's psycho, yet, I said to myself, no reason at all.

He came back with a glass of water in his hands, my eyes still wide from the macabre display on the wall. He watched me closely. I gaped at his hands as he handed me the glass, and his fingernails were long, seemingly pointed and very clean. When I took the glass I didn't drink it. He motioned for me to drink but I was still fixated on his viciously long nails. He brought a finger up and scratched behind his ear bringing my attention to his face again, to his small smile. "What's the smile for? What are you thinking?" No answer. Something was off about him. I shivered.

What can I do? I wonder. How can I push you to talk. I glanced at him, his stare never faltering. Maybe he is crazy. My eyes widened as I looked in his blue ones. Maybe I shouldn't push the crazy man who has heads on his walls. They're just some kind of morbid, fake, decoration…right? I pushed that idea out of my head, and continued to consider his silence. I didn't want to continue to give him a hard time if he really can't speak.

"You can speak, right?" He gave me a hesitantly nod. I nodded back, dumbly. I didn't want to think he was just toying with me. He saved me after all; he's not being unkind, just…very strange. "What are you thinking?" I asked again. When it was clear he wasn't going to answer I sighed and began to return his stare. "Would you stop?" I whispered. "Stop staring." His eyes darted to the side only for a split second and then returned to mine. I whispered again; "Is that the best you can do?" At that his smile again grew wider. I wrapped my arms around my body in an effort to comfort myself. "You practically…you did save me, back there in the alley way. At least tell me who you are. This is so strange. Do you live here? I need you to turn the creepiness down just a little bit," I practically begged instantly feeling guilty like I shouldn't have insinuated that he was a creep. He bit his bottom lip. I looked away and swallowed hard. He looked wicked like that, wicked creepy, creepy, strangely arousing.

What are you thinking? I scolded myself. Arousing? I don't even know where I am. This stranger won't talk to me. I had just seen him injure or kill 4 people in seconds. Who knows what they would've done though. He protected me. Maybe he brought me here to give me shelter. I do look obviously homeless. When I looked back his eyes where still on me. "Just tell me your name then." He didn't answer. "I could call you blue eyes or claws." I suggested trying to lighten the mood and coax a response. The slightest show of emotion pasted over his face with a tiny smile then his brows hinted sadness for only a second. I licked my lips and thought of a question that he could answer with a simple nod.

"Do you, do you want to know my name?" He shook in head in agreement. I breathed out in intense relief and smiled in spite of myself at finally getting an answer.

"My name is Elisha." He used his mouth to say my name but no sound came out and he smiled wider. "What's yours?" I could almost see that he was about to say it.

Then from somewhere upstairs, I heard some one yell, "KEVIN!" He looked at me urgently, putting a finger to his lips all at once telling me to be quiet and that he'll be back in minute. I nodded in response as he quickly got up.

"Bye, Kevin." I stated. He smiled at me over his shoulder. I felt a smile as well appear on my face. 'Why are you smiling you dope?' My conscience mind told me, you still don't know where you are, whom you're with, or why he has heads hanging on his wall. Oh yeah, guess I forgot about that. They have to be decoration. Just a fake decoration.'


	2. Chapter 2

**CH 2**

My mind wandered as I waited for him to come back. I kept thinking I should go but was reminded I didn't have anywhere to go to. It left me thinking that's why he brought me here and I should be grateful for what shelter I was given. He looked like he was about to talk to me. What did he do to those guys in the alley? I imagine he incapacitated them but I really think is that he killed them. I really didn't care what happened to those delinquents even though something inside of me told me I should care. I don't know what happened back there because I turned and ran. Then tripped because I was unconscious. I must have tripped and hit my head. That's why I am a little sore.

I heard the latch of the door and turned and saw Kevin come into the room. His expression was light and he took my hand and motioned for me to go with him. I did hesitantly. I followed him out of the room. Watching him walk in front of me. I was relieved that his staring at me had stopped for the moment. He was of small stature, wearing well fitting jeans, a button down shirt and sock feet.

He stopped at the door of a bathroom with a shower. With a small smile, he put his hand out for me to go in. "Oh no, you barely know me. You don't have to do this," I said. When I didn't enter, he started pushing me lightly. Before he closed the door he put his finger under my chin briefly then left me alone.

Everything was so neat and clean, it was surprising. I gave a sigh of relief at my fortune and trusted him a great deal more. A towel and folded clothes sat on top of the toilet seat. I picked them up and looked them over. His clothes, I thought. A thermal long sleeved shirt and fleece pants. I felt a little uncomfortable but I hadn't had a shower in so long. I turned it on and stripped and used what soap and shampoo there was. The longer I stayed in the shower the more I didn't want to come out. I found a toothbrush that was still wrapped in plastic and decided to use it. When I emerged from the bathroom Kevin was coming around the corner. He touched my arm lightly as he hinted I follow him. His hand slid down to meet mine for a second then let go. I let him lead me back downstairs not thinking it was too weird. I noticed he had put a mattress down there. He sat with a small smile and a hint of welcoming and gestured for me to sit. I sat across from him caught aback at what this seemed to be. What is this? I wondered. Was he wanting me to stay?

He took a nail clipper out of his pocket. He daintily held my hand in his and started to trim my nails I tried to take the clipper from him. "I can do that myself," I said. "Kevin really. This is weird, I can do it my self," I said again and he just swatted my hands away. I finally just gave in and focused on watching his fingers with those long pointy nails carefully hold mine so he could trim my nails.

"What is this?" I asked, "The shower and this mattress?" Still no answer. "Thanks by the way," he suddenly hesitated for a long time. He looked at me briefly then looked down again. What's wrong? You looked like you where about to talk to me before." He didn't look up. "Hey, if I ask you a yes or no question would you answer me by shaking your head?" He glanced up to me and nodded. Suddenly it seemed I could ask anything. I pondered the heads on his wall and why he had them. However, I didn't feel like talking about them. It was just too weird. Another good question was if he killed those people in the ally but I still found myself not caring with the same feeling that I should in the back of my mind.

"Who was that guy who called you?" I decided to ask. "Was it your father?" With his eyes fixed on me again, he moved his head in a way that couldn't be interpreted as yes or no. "Complicated, right?" I guessed. He nodded. I nodded too, glad that I was able to communicate with him.

"You do talk to other people, right?" I asked. He looked thoughtfully to the side and moved his head in a way that I couldn't tell if it was a yes or a no but then ended it with a nod. So he speaks, but not to me. He still might be playing with me. I couldn't allow my mind to think that he might have ill intentions for very long. Maybe the lights are not all on upstairs. I felt bad for him. I have to communicate the best I can. I sighed, moderately frustrated. He finished trimming my nails. "You really didn't have to do that." He just replied with a small smile and stroked the top of my hands. "But thanks and thanks for the shower," I said while taking my hands back form him. His smile left as I took my hands back but nodded and continued his stare. I was grateful but not wanting there to be certain favors he might want in exchange for allowing me to stay with him. A few moments passed and I was starting to feel that there was actually something wrong.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask him. He quickly shook his head 'no.' I was relived at that. "Really, what is all this? The bed the shower? What are you doing? I don't just want to assume. Just tell me what this is even if that's the only thing you tell me." He took my hands and held them in his lap again, stroking the top of them. "That really isn't necessary. Thank you for trimming them but," I said as I tried to take my hands from his but he wasn't letting go. I finally just relaxed and allowed him to hold my hands. After all, what was the real harm in it? And he had been kind. Weird but kind. His unique nails catch my attention again. I brought one of his hands up to examine his nails. I gaped and touched his fingers lightly with my own. "I've never seen anything like those. Those are amazing."

"They are?" He said softly. My eyes met his in shock.

"You spoke." I smiled widely. For a moment his face changed, like he wished he hadn't said anything. "No, tell me, why don't you talk? What is all of this? Why do you do that to your nails? I don't think it's because you think they're pretty." He pulled his hand away but I kept hold. He looked at me with wide eyes I couldn't read and I let go of him. He eyed me from the side and he wasn't smiling.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. I should go." I got up and he rose with me. He stepped in front of me with a pleading look on his face. Suddenly I thought of a question that I really wanted an answer to. Ok, I'll stay a little longer, if you answer my question." His eyes reminded the same. "Back there in the alley, what did you do to those guys?" He was quiet for a moment and then shook his head. "What do you mean?" I asked. Maintaining his constant stare, he took a finger and imitated slicing his neck. I wasn't exactly upset. There was no doubt they had terrible intentions. I would've did the same to protect myself as well, and not looked back. "You did kill them. I thought you did but I wasn't sure. I was too busy running."

And then I fell. "I fell," I said out loud. I didn't have a memory of falling but maybe I did. I did have a bump on my head. My eyes narrowed and suddenly I was paranoid that he might have knocked me unconscious. I could ask him but I was too suspicious of if he would tell the truth. I swallowed cautiously.

"I should go," I insisted again. "I'm hungry and I don't want to impose." He stood in front of me again, his eyes sufficed with out words, to beg me to stay. It was then that I noticed what nice eyes he had, they were large and a beautiful blue. They looked like 2 eclipses. I sighed in defeat. He motioned that it was nothing and for me to stay and wait for him to get back. He seems so…harmless, I thought as my paranoia started to dissipate. He left the room. In a few minutes he returned with a plate of food and a glass of water. I found myself not being able to resist.

"Thank you." I said in awe of his kindness. I took the plate and sat on the mattress. He crouched on the floor near me. I ate the food faster then I should've and drank the water, forgetting the eyes that still looked so fixatedly at me. It was good to have fresh food. When he took the plate I didn't let it go and said, "thank you again." He smiled then nodded. He gently pushed on my shoulder so I would lie down. I didn't protest. The food was really good and the bed was so comfortable. I laied on my side and I watched Kevin as he continued to stare at me. "What large eyes you have." I murmured absentmindedly. He didn't miss a beat when he replied in a delicate voice;

"All the better to see you with, my dear." I let out a laugh at his reply. I watched him smile wider, truly amused that time.

"See, you should talk more often. You have a sense of humor." I smoothed over his witty but disturbing Little Red Riding Hood reference. I was tempted to add 'And what long claws you have,' but decided against it, sensing he wasn't quite normal upstairs and I didn't feel comfortable joking about them. He was still smiling widely when he scratched both sets of nails along his pants seemingly insisting that I say the line. I didn't want to say it

"Say it" he said softly.

"Say what?" I feigned ignorance.

"You know what." I was quiet. "Please say it. I like the story of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf." And all at once, like some spell I actually want to appease him.

"What long nails you have." He smiled widely and opening his mouth he paused for affect.

"All the better to scratch you with, my dear." I felt shivers run though me and not from complete apprehension either. I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I should've felt. Then I thought about it. Why do I have to feel uncomfortable? If I want to go along with it. I should just relax and go with it. After all, he hasn't been unkind, just peculiar.

He bit his bottom lip again and smiled with that familiar sly wickedness.

I woke sometime in mid day and wished I knew what time it was. I was alone. There was a tiny adjoining room that was a bathroom, just as bare looking as the room I was in, but it functioned and had running water which I was glad of. As the hours passed I grew bored. I checked the door to see if it was locked and it was. I wondered if it was for my own good. The heads haunted me out of the corner of my eye. I didn't go near them. I went to the small window. I could see trees and sky. It appeared that I was out in the middle of nowhere, possibly on a farm. The window was high up with cross bars on it. I gripped the bars then looked back that the door that locked me in and got a chilling feeling.


	3. Chapter 3

**CH 3**

It was nightfall, I've been here a little over a day. Curiosity got the better of me and I went over to get a closer look at the mounted heads on his wall. While I was examining them, fear spread through me. I came to the realization that they weren't fake. Kevin's a psycho, probably not medicated and obviously dangerous, even to me. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a key unlatching on the door. I gasped and had no time to move. The door cracked open silently. He silently walked in watching me. He stepped close to me but I backed away from away from him.

"I want to leave now." My voice shook. He raised his brows and shook his head 'no.' My face twitched. "I just want to go." I moved to walk around him and gasped when he cut me off. "Look, I…I appreciate you saving me and giving me shelter for awhile and-" I stopped abruptly as he took my hands in his. I pulled away. I tried to walk around him and he stepped in front of me again. "What are you doing? I want to leave." I asked and went to walk around him again. He cut me off again. I started to fight and push past him. He quickly maneuvered me standing me still in front of him. I twisted out of his grip. I went to punch him but never made contact.

Everything happened so fast. He did a surprisingly quick maneuver and started to steer me towards the mattress. I couldn't move an inch and when I tried, I only hurt myself. He dropped me onto the bed. I tried to get up. He pushed me down on my stomach. "Stop it, what are you doing? Stop it." He loomed over me and I tried to get on my back and kick him. "Stop it," I repeated. Finally, instinct took over and I began to thrash around wildly. "Get off of me, get off!" I said. We fought but he was far too quick and strong. Suddenly, he was sitting on the back of my legs, with my arm twisted against my back. He bend down to my face. "Shhh, shh," he spoke in his soft, strangely relaxing voice. "Don't hurt yourself."

"Kevin, I,I thought you wanted to help me. Please stop. I don't want to end up like one of them." I said through tears. "Kevin, let go, just let go. You're hurting me. I don't want to end up like one of them. I don't want to end up like one of them." I cried.

"Shhhh Elisha. I need you Elisha. Shhhh," he said. I stilled but remained tense. He relaxed his grip but remained close. He put his nose in the nap of my neck causing me to flinch. "Mmm, you smell so much better now," he said and shivers to ran through me. With his other hand he started to stroke my back with a softness that had been in his voice. He traced my back and carefully moved the hair out of my face. I stayed still watching him out of the corner of my eye.

He finally stopped touching me and rose to his feet slowly. I curled up on my side putting my hand over my mouth and avoided his stare. He left and I took a few deep breathes and thought I had privacy to let my emotions out but he came right back. He brought with him a plate of food and a glass of water. I couldn't catch my breath from sobbing in time to tell him anything. He left right away and was gone for hours.

Now it's the middle of the night, though I don't know exactly what time it is. I wondered what he meant by him saying that needed me. The only conclusion I could come to was that I'm going to end up being another trophy, just another trophy. I had spent a lot of time scared and crying. He had seemed so nice, though strange. Did he do this to all of those girls? Did he get to know them as he is doing with me? I kept rehashing the same questions in my head; how am I going to die? When am I going to die? How I can injure him so I can get away? I'd kill him if I could but I doubted I could considering how he took down all 4 of my assailants in less then 60 seconds. I just couldn't surrender to the hopelessness of the situation. I had to keep my head on straight and keep him talking.

Kevin, being nocturnal, soon went to sleep then awoke sometime after sunset. He left the house and went on a nightly stroll. He thought of his recent acquirement but not in the eating way. He wondered if she could help him. He realized speaking to her was vital to his situation, but it was a barrier that was up for years. It made him nervous that he may have to get used to speaking to another person. That had too many implications for him. It would mean a great deal but he was wanting a great deal in return as well.

He wasn't normal person. Not speaking was who he was. It was who he has been for years. His father had told him that no one would accept him and his appetites. That no one else would care for what he had to say and that living in this kind of seclusion is the only way for him to live. It was true though, to indulge in kidnapping, murder and cannibalism, a hideaway would be a good thing to have. So he lived in seclusion and became accustomed to it.

He had thought about human contact before. It was a lingering feeling that stayed for days at a time sometimes. He did not especially want to open up to his usual victim, a whore. They were all unwilling and not helpful anyway. He thought about the night he happened upon a crime that was about to be committed against that girl. That homeless girl, he thought, is convenient. That girl, he thought, might suffice. He found himself going into a gas station and buying a cherry slushy and a single red rose. He thought perhaps, with out words he could put her at ease. So for now she was his own, his precious.

I saw the door open and adrenaline made me jump off the mattress, putting it between us. He held his empty hand out as if to say relax and then kneeled down at the side of the bed. He extended the rose out to me with that small smile a little wider this time. I was dumbfounded and just stared at it. After awhile my eyebrows rose. He motioned for me to sit so I kneeled on the edge of the mattress.

"You want me to stay, here, with you?" He nodded with his perpetual stare. It wasn't a blank stare. It was a very expressive stare. The kind that conveyed about as much as words. "Why would you want that?" I asked remembering he had spoke so little to me before. I closed my eyes at his silence. "Are you going to kill me?" His smiled faltered and he shook his head. Of course I doubted him.

"I know you're trying to communicate something to me with this;" I gestured towards the rose. "But…I would be nothing but an inconvenience to you," I said hoping to convince him to loose interest in me. "I had a nice enough abandon apartment before you came along." Still silence and his unyielding stare. "Come on, you hardly even talk to me, you must really like me," I said sarcastically hoping to manipulate him into saying something. He lifted himself up off the floor and joined me on the bed. And I flinched at how suddenly he moved.

"I like you," He said delicately. I was surprised when he spoke and couldn't believe the nerve he had saying he liked me. I couldn't control what I was about to say. I was hoping that he'd see he was wrong. Hoping he'd let me leave. Hoping to talk sense to an insane person.

"You act all creepy, don't let me leave, twist my arm. That's not 'like.'" He flashed me a look like, 'how dare you?' "That's-" I said becoming angry making it difficult to find the right words. "That's demented. I was trying so hard to be nice to you. I put up with your silent game, your unwelcome touches and-" He put his hand over my mouth.

Enraged at his nerve, I suddenly lashed out, knocking him off balance. He fell back. I sprung out of bed and jumped up and over him. He grabbed my ankle in a vice grip causing me to fall. I turned and tried to kick him in the face. When he blocked and instantly perched on top of me. My arms covering me and my breath held. With my eyes tightly closed, I waited to be hit or killed. He watched my terror with his hands resting on his knees. His manner smooth and unaffected. He shook his head.

"Tsk tsk tsk," he clicked his tongue at me. His eye brows raised and he sighed. He surprised me when I felt his hands wrap around my wrists. I pulled away at first but he pulled my hands up to be enclosed in his. I chanced a look at him and he was looking at me curiously.

"Look, I don't want to be here anymore. And you, you really don't need me. I can take care of myself." His smiled widened, his stare returned to my eyes and shook his head, 'no.' "Kevin…I, you have to understand." I kept in mind that I was talking to a crazy person so I chose my words carefully and calmly. "If you like me, tell me what you want." I said shaking below him. "I'm sure I can't be what ever you need me for if you won't talk to me." My throat started to tighten. "You have spoke to me before. Why does it seem so hard for you? This is driving me crazy."

I started a bit as he gracefully rose up off of me and gave me his hand and smiled some. I stared right back at him moving away then getting up on my own. He looked disappointed. He opened the door and motioned for me to follow him. I looked at him cautiously, internally jumping at the chance to get a better look at the place to aid in my escape I said, "ok."

The walls where a dark brown paneling, all was quiet and there was a light at the end of the hallway. Turning the corner and came into the living room. The room was cozy, warm and very neat. Walking to the middle of he room I observed bookcases, a lamp, a recliner, couch and a fireplace. I was looking for a phone. I didn't see one. Coming full circle in looking about the room I started as I saw Kevin sitting on the floor right where I had come in. He was looking down at his hands as if he was in deep thought. "No hello?" I asked quietly and got the unwanted attention of his eyes again . "No TV?" I forced a small smile.

"Sit," he laid his hand out on the space in front of him. Surprised, I came to sit in front of him. I looked at him intently expecting more words. When none came I thought out loud.

"It's good to, have a change of scenery." Silence. "This place is…cozy." He actually wasn't looking at me this time, he was staring off to the side. We heard a car pull into the driveway. Kevin put his hand up and went,

"Shh." He rose to his feet and motioned for me to follow him. I went with him with out question for some reason, putting unreasonable, illogical trust in him. As soon as we reached the basement room I asked, "Why shouldn't he know I'm here? What would he do?" He looked at me from the side with a slightly worried expression and said,

"He'd want me to kill you." He held a hand up signaling he'll be right back. I went to sit on the bed, putting yet more trust in him then I did doubt.

I was shocked that he answered my question and stunned at the answer as well. Many questions filled my head like, is his father responsible for him being the way he is? Or is he just lying? Is his father the one who she should be trusting? But how can his father not know about Kevin and his, 'collection.' He must know about it. I came to the conclusion, he must be in on it. I was terribly afraid to make a sound now. He could've been gone an hour, I didn't know. But now I was scared that his father would find out that I was there and kill me or indeed make Kevin kill me. I was never so glad that I hadn't screamed or made much noise while I had been there. Kevin finally came back. I sat with my back against the wall and he sat across from me. Within an hour, he had brought down 2 warm biscuits and we ate together. I tried to ignore his stare while I ate. Something was different about the way he was staring, he had his head tilted to the side.

"If you want me to be safe, you'll let me go," I said as I finished the biscuit. "You can't just keep me down here and expect your father never to find out." He leaned toward me and I instinctively backed up. He was reaching for the rose he had brought me earlier. He twisted and effectively cut the stem to only about 3 inches. Then sliced the thorns off with a fingernail. He put it behind my ear and said;

"Pretty." His lack of thought to my question was disturbing and extremely frustrating.

"Are you hearing me? Do you understand?" I stood and threw the rose down. He stood as well, attentive but unreasonable. My eyes became teary and my voice cracked. "I'm in danger as long as I'm here. Your father will kill me when he finds me down here." I turned to storm off and he grabbed my arm.

"Don't say those things," he said softly. "No one's going to ruin this."

"Do you even hear what I'm saying?" I said thoroughly tired of arguing with a crazy person. I put my head in my hand.

"Yes," he said steadily. "And no one's going to ruin this," he told me, which made no sense to me.

I sighed nearly defeated. He picked up the rose and I allowed him to place it back in my hair. Leading me back to the mattress to sit down he said; "There, now, let's talk about something else."

I just wanted out of here. I drew my legs up, folded my arms and put my head down. I was quiet for a long time. Not knowing what to say, not wanting to argue but still having plenty of things to stay where the situation was concerned. How does one have a reasonable conversation with a crazy person? I wondered. I just wanted out of here so badly. I pulled myself together. I wasn't going to get out of here with my head buried in my arms. Treating him like a normal person would be my best ticket out of here.

"So, do you dislike people?" I asked in reference to his apparent lack of social skills and the heads of people on his wall that he allegedly murdered. He shook his head and looked like he was going to speak.

"Not dislike, have no interest." I let out a big sigh of relief, finally getting somewhere with this strange individual.

"What makes me so different from the others? Or am I not different?"

"You try to communicate with me, like the others never did, not like you," he said softly. "The others, they just…" his voice trailed off.

"Did you rescue them from a violent assault too?" I asked.

"No, I just took them," he answered coolly. I got shivers. I swallowed, feeling uncomfortable talking about the other girls that he most certainly killed.

"Sure I'm interesting now but what about in a few weeks?" I stopped not liking the direction my thought were taking me. He looked at me as though unhappy by my insinuation. He noticed me looking at the heads on the wall. "You made a deal with the funeral parlor telling them that the heads would suit your morbid taste of décor." He laughed out loud and continued laughing. His laugh was beginning to creep me out.

"That would be an ingenious explanation, wouldn't it? Come on now, you know I killed them."

"Oh, no. I don't think that," I lied, backpedaling as fast as I could to make it seem like I knew far less then I did. I didn't want my knowing be a complication.

"Yes you do," he interrupted. "You said it when you discovered they were real and tried to run away." I swallowed, remembering how horrified I had been.

"It's none of my business," I still insisted. "I don't need to know about that," I said shaking my head. I wrote it off pretending like it was nothing, trying to discourage him from confessing anymore incriminating information but he leaned in close with his eyes wide and child-like.

"Why not? I know you've been wanting to know what happened to them," his voice light and delicate. He touched my fingers with his. I didn't move. "I eat them too." I instinctively pulled my hands away from his looking at him incredulously. "You have to believe me," he said. "I have no one else to talk to." I watched as he reached for my hands again, I didn't resist. Starting to feel sick with unease I asked,

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because Carrie, I like my solitary." I let him lace his bizarrely clawed fingers through mine. "But unfortunately," he continued while staring, "I've been feeling, desolate, lately and, I want it to stop."


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't just eat human flesh,"

"We don't really have to talk about this," I interrupted.

"When I say I eat them, I don't just consume their bodies but their souls as well." He looked at me with wide seemingly desperate eyes. "They're saved from Hell that way." I put my hand over my mouth. "It fills me with love and contentment," he explained passionately. "It compensates for me living like…this." I listened with a disgusted look on my face, not breathing and more horrified then I had already been. I shut my mouth quickly as I didn't want to provoke a bad response. "But it doesn't feel the same way it used to," he continued with disappointment. "I used to be happy. I used to feel normal. Like what I was doing was great and fulfilling to me but," his voice trailed off.

"That's why you're here, to lessen this feeling of abandonment and loneliness and to make me feel normal again." I listened quietly disagreeing that anything between us was normal. "Do you think I can feel normal again?"

My mind was racing and I attempted to slow my thoughts. I could make enough sense of the situation to realize if I didn't have a purpose he would likely kill me. I struggled to wrap my head around his plea for answers. The answer to why consuming human flesh wasn't keeping him content, wasn't fulfilling him emotionally like it apparently used to. I figured it out, it was spiritual. He was having a spiritual crisis.

"Kevin, many people go through what you are going through. It's called questioning their faith."

"Really? How long does it last before they get answers?"

"There's no telling. You just have to live life day to day, try different things."

"Different?" He questioned hopelessly. "I don't know any different."

"Sometimes things that have worked in the past don't work anymore and that's ok. Maybe you're realizing what you believed before simply makes no sense now," I offered. He looked horrified and I was afraid he'd freak out and hurt me. He lifted his arms to the sides of his head as if he was fending off some attack.

"No, he said, no no no no no."

"It's ok, people change their faith through out their lives or even let go of it completely. You-"

"It does make sense!" he shouted. I gasped leaning away from him and putting my hands up defensively.

"Ok, ok. It's ok. You don't have to feel hopelessness. Don't get upset. Calm down. You're fine. You just have-"

"Don't tell me how to feel!" He shouted. I quickly stood wanting to flee from the room, my heart racing, my eyes threatening to tear up. "Sit," he said. I stayed frozen. "Sit!" he said louder and I jumped. I couldn't move if I wanted to. The doom I felt was paralyzing. He stood and I put my arms up in a defensive manner. His breathing was heavy and his gaze was off to the side. I struggled to think of what to tell him to soothe him. I felt like I couldn't even tell him it was ok. Things obviously weren't ok with him. I had to say something, or maybe I didn't. I had to pretend, that was for sure. Pretend I had some reason for him to keep me around.

"Kevin," I whispered, extending a hand to his shoulder slowly. "Maybe it's time to let the past go." I said shakily. "There's so much more to experience in life aside from the single way you've been living." He looked hopeful for just a moment then he began to sneer and put his hands on the wall on either side of me and threatened.

"Maybe I shouldn't give up so soon. Maybe I should consume you and then see what happens." I turned my head to the side, letting tears fall. He took a step back then continued quietly. "I can't just let it go, it's who I am." I glanced at him and quickly wiped my face.

"People change every day, Kevin, for better or worse. In your case, it will be for the better. I promise." I couldn't believe my words, how easily they flowed and how positive and sincere they sounded. Evidentially he couldn't either. He leaned in closer to me again, looking curious.

"You promise?" he asked in disbelief but with a hint of hope. "How can you promise that?"

"I thought," I stammered. "I thought that was the reason you brought me here, right? You don't want to feel lonely. Something that you've never had, a normal human connection, right? I can help you. I will help you." He seriously considered it for a moment looking forlorn but then his expression changed. He looked at me skeptically.

"Why do you care?" He asked delicately. "No, that came out wrong, what I meant to ask was how could you care so much? You know what I am." I shook my head all at once feeling emptiness and dread. My mind was reeling as to what to say. Not wanting to say something he has already heard before, not wanting him to become suspicious. I choose my words carefully.

"Look, I've wanted you to talk to me ever since this started." He still looked at me in disbelief. I didn't know you had a problem that you needed help with. I'm glad you're talking to me, that you told me. I can help you."

"Yes but…" his voice trailed off. "Yes but why are you so different?"

"It," I said exasperatedly. "You saved my life, remember and gave me a place to stay. You're also giving me a chance to repay you, and I will."

"You say it like it's so normal," he said.

"It is."

"You're not just manipulating me?"

"No," I said feeling slightly hurt, disappointed that I could think as clear as I could through my fear and upset that he wasn't believing me. Also, concerned that I was even the slightest bit sincere.

"But, you're still afraid of me."

"No, I'm not."

"You're lying. No, this can't, this can't work, if all you're going to do is pretend. This wasn't a good idea. I should go." He stood and made for the door. I followed while desperately thinking of something to say because if I had no purpose for being there, it would certainly mean my death.

"No wait. Don't leave Kevin, don't. I want to help you, I do, please." I went to grab his arm but he slipped out of my reach and shut the door with out so much as a backward glance. My hope faltered and I cried, feeling crushed. Everything had fell apart so fast. I really did want to know him, at one time, but now it's detrimental. His truth was unsettling and inconceivable. I promised myself that when I got away from him I'd leave Basin City, on foot if I had to, and not stop till I had reached an ocean. I laid there in bed anxious and scared and not being able to sleep.

I had been in this same room for 3 days straight. I was tired, hungry and constantly on edge. I thought about what he wanted form me. He wanted me to make him happy somehow. He wanted me to fill some void. Sure I'll talk to him. I'll be civil and maybe a little friendly. I had very much wanted to know him before but now I just want to get out of here. I made my mind up that I would ask him if we could go upstairs again. At one time, he did invite me up there but then his dad came in and we had to leave. I knew how his father would feel about my being here and I knew Kevin probably didn't trust me, at least not yet.

He was upstairs trying to distance himself from his feelings about the girl. He figured it wouldn't be so much of a disappointment considering he had barely begun this experiment. He didn't trust her. Some one like him didn't have friends. He was foolish to think he could have someone, someone to fix him, someone to fill the void.

Hours passed and he brought food down to me while I slept. When I woke I was relived to find the food. I figured letting me starve to death wasn't his style so I allowed myself to take slight comfort.

His slight form laid on his stomach outside with his legs in the air watching her through the barred window. One of his claws between his teeth, he contemplated what he wanted to do with this person, if what he wanted to cultivate with her was even possible. Would she listen to him? Would she care or just pretend to care? If I ask her something, would she tell me the truth or a bunch of pretty lies? It mattered to him. It mattered to him because he wanted truth. He had lost truth and he need to find it again. He could just have her as a listening ear but he wanted more then that. He figured if he was willing to go out on a limb so to speak then it would only be fair that he have someone to do the same. He came to the conclusion that staring at her from afar was not something he wanted so he paid her a visit instead.

When he came in I was so tired I could hardly move. I had slept some but my emotions had kept me from rest. I got up quickly sensing I was going to find out if he was going to keep me or kill me due to our last meeting.

"No no, don't get up," he said putting his hands up in a non threatening manner. He quickly seated himself on the floor next to the bed. His eyes brighter then usual. I wanted to see you," he said simply with a small smile. "I've been thinking," his eyebrows rose a little. "I don't want to stop this."

"You don't?" I said out loud not really believing it. He shook his head. I let a few moments pass for it to sink in. "Could you tell me that one more time?" I asked for comfort and assurance. He looked as if to ask why but he responded and repeated himself;

"I don't want to stop this. I want to continue." I desperately didn't want to cry in front of him but the lack of sleep and the emotional horror I had felt was a more urgent need to be released. He put a hand on my leg. "D-don't cry," he said as if it was the most alien thing for him to say. He had never been one to comfort. "Come here, follow me." He had the most soothing voice, greatly contrasting what was going on and the type of things he indulged in. I stopped crying. He wasn't supposed to have that affect on me. I didn't think on it too long. I was just glad I could stop and relax somewhat.

He lead me to the shower again and left me to privacy. I let the water pour over my face and wash my tears away. It felt so good to be clean again. I put on the clean clothes that were folded on top of a small table. I came out apprehensively, not wanting to go back to the room I had spend days on end inside of. I walked though the living room and into the kitchen. Kevin stopped what he was doing and walked over to me. He said nothing and turned me around, suggesting I follow him.

"I can make my own food, so you don't have to keep bringing it to me," I said. "Really," I insisted. "It's kind of embarrassing." I said desperately reaching for a reason that he could understand and consider. He took my arm gently. I took a few steps then stopped. "We don't really have to go back downstairs do we? I mean. nobody's home."

"We can't stay up here. It's too much of a risk." He stopped at the top of the stairs and motioned for me to go first as usual, I did, not wanting to cause myself anymore anxiety. I followed him back to my room. He sat down on the bed and I just stood there. I looked at him warily, weary of the days he had left me alone and worrying he might do that again.

"You're not going to leave me alone again like that, are you?" He didn't respond. It was maddening, except for I didn't have the energy to be mad at the moment.

"Sit with me," he invited. He sat Indian style facing me, I mirrored his position. "I don't want to leave you alone," he put his hand on my arm and ran his thumb over my skin. I wished I could make him understand personal space but I doubted I could. I swallowed and tried to think of something to say to forget about his hand on my arm.

To my surprise, he took a phone out of his pocket. "You have a phone?" I asked dumbly.

"Of course I have a phone," he said amused. "It's for business purposes. I text most of the time."

"You text with those nails?"

"With my thumbs yes" he smiled, "like everyone else." I still gave him a surprised look. "I use my hands the same as anyone, just more carefully." He took a picture of me, then two, then three.

"Why are you taking pictures of me?" I asked.

"I like to keep souvenirs, as you've seen."

"Business purposes huh?" I said trying to take his focus off of taking pictures of me. "The C.N.A hot line?"

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"The cannibalistic ninja assassination hot line," I told him. He smiled a bit and then grew serious.

"Two of those things you knew, but the last is an assumption. An accurate assuption." He searched my eyes. "How do you feel about that?" I thought to myself, sometime assassins can be a great help killing bad men who are in power, but I doubted he was one of those type. That should've made him more cold blooded to me but I was getting to know him. He was as conflicted and in need of human contact as any random I person might be. If he didn't feel, I wouldn't be here. If he didn't feel, he'd never smile.

"I-I don't know." said.

"Does it bother you?"

"It's not the reason I'm here."

"Yes and no. Hit men lead lonely lives, but my circumstances are more complex then that. You're avoiding the question, it must bother you."

"No, I'm avoiding the question because my answer is unconventional and sort of unbelievable."

"If it doesn't bother you then why not tell me?"

"Because as weird as it is, I care about how you see me and it feels wrong to say I don't have a problem with it."

"Said the law-abiding citizen to the hit man."

"See?" I said

"I doubt you've been the same law abiding citizen since your own situation came about. I'm sure you've lied cheated and stolen to get by."

"Yeah," was all I said.

"You feel guilty about it, I can tell. How can you feel guilty about your petty theft and not feel horrified at my profession?"

"Kevin can we talk about something else? It's your business quite literally. And I'll leave you to it." He looked at me closely and I looked back warily. The truth was it really did bother me. I just had to much to deal with right now. I couldn't think about that as well. "I meant to tell you in time," he said shyly. "I didn't want to give you another reason to dislike me." I tilted my head at him and sighed almost sympathetic, thinking that if he wasn't who he was then I would've hugged away all his insecurity.

"Um, I said wanting to change the subject. "From what you told me, about being lonely, it sounds to me like all you really need are some friends," I recommended, taking the route of talking to him as if he were a normal person.

"I can't have friends, not with what I do."

"But if you stop?" He was quiet for a long time. I almost thought he forgot my question.

"I don't know," he said after a long time. "It's been with me for so long. It's hard to imagine anything else. Although, the religious aspect came later." he confided. I listened appalled. He was a deviant before religion came into the picture.

"So you felt it was wrong to eat people?" I asked.

"I know it was wrong, or thought it was but then I met the man who looks after me. He told me that God spoke to him and told him it was my calling." I looked at him incredulously. I was speechless for quite awhile.

"Does he know that you're having doubts?" I asked.

"I spoke of it once. He just repeated the same things to me as when he found out what I was. It's like he wasn't hearing me. He made me feel like a freak. A freak for questioning his wise offer, his counsel, something that had made me feel comfortable in my own skin and whole at one time."

"No father should ever make their child feel like they're a freak," I sympathized.

"But I am. Before his counsel came to me, I knew my appetites were wrong to say the least." I didn't want to talk about his cannibalism anymore and wanted to change the subject.

"So, what do you do around here all day?" I asked.

"I'm the neat one between my father and I. I keep things in order." He leaned forward and laced his fingers together.

"Is that it?"

"What are you implying? That I live off my father?"

"Oh, no I-"

"I have my profitable talents, which you have already guessed."

"What does your father do?" I asked sleepily.

"He's a member of the clergy," he said curtly.

"Really?" I said incredulously.

Yes," he replied.

"Perfect cover huh?" I yawned. He hesitated.

"It's not a cover."

"So he really believes all that stuff?"

"Yes."

"Who is he though?" I asked just for conversation purposes. Kevin didn't answer.

"He's a private man," he said guarded.

"Oh, did I just ask something I shouldn't know about? I'm sorry. I was just making small talk."

"I should go," he stated abruptly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Why? Did I say something wrong?" He looked back and said,

"No."


	5. Chapter 5

I was swaying in and out of sleep when Kevin came in and I followed him to the shower. I showered, dressed and came out. I turned to go down the hall to the living room but was met with Kevin blocking my way. "Can't I stay up here for awhile?" I asked.

"You have to go back downstairs," he said gently, putting his arm against the wall to seemingly block my way.

"Please,"

"We talked about this already," I ducked underneath his arm and turned to face him walking backwards and he started walking towards me.

"No one's here now and you can see if anyone does come into the driveway," I reasoned.

"It's too great a risk," he said.

"If your dad did find out about me and wanted you to kill me, would you really do it?"

"Just do what I say," he said softly.

"Please, I'm so bored down there.

"Better bored then dead."

"I'm always alone and I feel terrible. I can hardly stand it. If I'm helping you at all, please do this for me." I couldn't believe I had said that last part. It was bold and I was desperate. His movements were swift. He took me by the arm and started to drag me.

"You are helping me, that's why I'm doing this."

My sleep pattern was all over the place but I found that I was mostly up during the nights. It was then that Kevin would pay me visits. I neglected mentioning his 'spiritual crisis.' That whole aspect terrified me and I was so exhausted of being afraid so I relaxed. It was difficult to find things to talk about. He still gave me his signature stare but I felt better about it knowing that he was also talking to me now and was sincere. I was sad and depressed and actually looked forward to the times when Kevin did visit me. A week passed, each day much like the last. During a visit I asked him if I could have a radio or some books or magazines or something to pass time. He brought them to me the next day not including a radio.

"Thank you," I said. He nodded his head and didn't leave. I almost wanted to cry but I didn't want to do it in front of him. He just kept staring at me. I wanted him to leave so I could let my emotions out. I blinked away tears. It was like he was watching and waiting for me to crack. It was strange. I told myself I was just being paranoid. A tear escaped and I wiped it away. "What?" I finally asked him. He didn't answer. Was he back to not talking to me again, I wondered rashly. "What?" I asked again. That small frustration added to my emotions already running high as they were, caused more tears to streak down my cheeks.

"You're so pretty," he said softly. I turned away and thought to myself, you're a freak, you're insane and I want you to leave, but said nothing. He was looking at me with a disturbing curiosity that made me uneasy. He finally left with not so much as a word and I buried my face in a random magazine till I fell asleep.

Kevin paid me his daily visits. He come down at least 3 times a day, sometimes he stayed sometimes he didn't. It never looked like he wanted to go. There where times I had fell asleep with him still in my room. He came to see me again and I was both happy and weary to see him. "Why did God abandon me?" he asked. My heart sank at the current subject matter. I thought about his question and what to say with out provoking a bad response.

"There's a vast world outside of this farmhouse full of countless ideas and new things to try."

"But why?" I didn't want to encourage the religious aspect but I decided to.

"Maybe your calling is shifting."

"What can I do in this place? What else could it possibly be?"

"You don't have to stay in this place." He was again quiet for a long time.

"I pray but I feel nothing but my father told me nothing has changed."

"That's not true. You found your way to me that night." He smiled but then it quickly gave way to something else. He looked sad.

"You're not going to abandon me too are you?" I was shocked at his emotion. He was saying it like I had a choice in the matter. Most probably in his twisted mind he was meaning I wouldn't give him a reason to be rid of me.

"N-no. I'm not going to leave someone who needs my help. I've never met anyone like you with such deep seeded issues." I found I was making headway, getting him to trust me. I decided to gently suggest an idea. "I'm just an average person with average knowledge. Maybe you could consider professional help?"

"You mean doctors? Never. They'll lock me up. I only talk to God."

"And me."

"And you." I decided to go out on a limb and ask another question.

"Can't we just meet somewhere like at a restaurant? Or a park?"

"Why? You have no where else to go and I need you."

"Because you want normal and that is normal."

"It's not safe out there," he manipulated.

"I'd be safe if you were with me," I manipulated back, insinuating that we'd run away together. "We can live a life on the outside.

"Safe? You think of me as safe? I've never thought of being with someone such as myself safe really. Not according to other people's standards."

"You are, what you did to those guys in the alleyway in seconds. The safest place in Basin City would be next to you. So we should just go somewhere, somewhere away from your father who'd want you to kill me if he knew about us."

"That's 3 times now you've insinuated leaving me when you said you wouldn't."

"No, I included you in both of those options. You just don't want to leave your father." I stated bravely.

"So what if I don't?" He shouted.

"You can't have a life of your own if he feeding you lies."

"It wasn't a lie," he said defensively.

"Now it's like it may have well have been a lie." He gazed at me angrily.

"He protects me."

"You can protect yourself." He stood, upset by my words and turned to leave. "Don't, don't leave," I said.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. All you want to do is leave me and make me think I should leave this place. I don't want to hear it anymore!"

"Wait Kevin, wait." I stood quickly and put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about it any more. I won't mention it again, just don't go." He turned and took my shoulders roughly.

"I want you and I need this place. Tell me I can have you both," he said angry, desperate and sad. I was frightened and thought my reason and patience on the subject had run it's course so I thought for now, I'd tell him what he wanted to hear.

"Ok, you can have me and this place. You can have us both. Whatever you need." He then wrapped his arms about my shoulders and pressed his face to my forehead. Was he kissing my forehead?

2 weeks had passed and I had asked every day if we could go upstairs. Today, I was hesitant to ask again, simply expecting him to say no. "Can we go upstairs?"

"No," he responded. I put my head down.

"We went up there once before. Why not?"

"No."

"I'm terribly tired of being in this dark room with not a thing to do. If it could even be just for a short time-"

"No, I said no and I told you why over and over again," he practically yelled. "And that's the end of it!" I took an audible breath and my eyes started to tear up at his tone. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I wanted to get away from him so I slipped off the bed and stood with my back towards him. I could feel his eyes on me and I willed myself to disappear. He stayed for what seemed like forever, then finally got up and left.

I was awake when he brought me something to eat. "What are you doing upstairs?" I asked desperate for someone to talk to.

"Putting away leftovers, watching TV with the old man." He had said he was searching for happiness. Some kind of great experience to equal the one he practiced cannibalism. I doubted I was being that for him. I didn't think I'd make it out of this alive, but I had to know what was going on inside his head so I wouldn't drive myself crazy being alone for so long. I started nervously. "Is this good for you, really? Is this really good? Am I good?" He looked a little confused.

"This is good. You're more then good. This is good for me." he answered. Then suddenly smiled. "I eat people and you're worried about not being adequate company. Really?"

"I just don't know how much good I can be if I'm always stuck down here. I fear you'll forget about me." He grew serious and continued earnestly;

"You're more good then I've gotten from anyone beside my father. Everyone else I've ever tried with only screamed at me." She refrained from stating the obvious.

"Thanks for all this," I said motioning to the bed and the plate now empty of food.

"Thanks for not making your presence known to others in the house."

"I never thanked you for saving my life." It occurred to me that I hadn't thanked him for that yet and that I was actually sincere. He looked as if he was affected and didn't know what to say. Suddenly, he leaned toward me and hugged my shoulders against him. I gasped and froze. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't dare put my hands on him but I didn't want to be rude so I placed my hands on his back lightly. We stayed like that along time. Finally, he pulled away, sat back and continued his signature stare.


	6. Chapter 6

He visited me again like he did everyday. He stood there with his hands buried in his pockets, staring at me like he was waiting for me to speak. I was still mad at him for yelling at me a couple days ago . I didn't know what to say but I was glad for some human contact. He looked down. I further thought to myself, how I could manipulate him and get him to trust me. I wanted him to let his guard down so I could escape. I was no match for him physically so I had to find some cracks and make a bond with him mentally. "Isn't your father going to wonder were you disappear off to at all hours of the day and night?" I asked referring to the hours he comes to visit me. He laughed.

"My father doesn't keep tabs on me. I come and go as I wish."

"Do you wish he did?"

"What? Keep tabs on me. No."

"Don't take this the wrong way but it can be a sign that he cares."

"He does care about me. He looks after me, allows me to stay here, to keep doing what it is I need to do." I wondered why he didn't invite himself to sit on the bed with me as usual.

"Come on." I patted the space in front of me. "I don't bite," I said and instantly regretted my words. He smiled again widely, amused this time. He sat facing me.

"Go ahead."

"What?" I asked. He unbuttoned his shirt and exposing the top of his shoulder to me.

"Bite me. Here." I muffled an inappropriate laugh.

"No," I said.

"Do it."

"No. I'm not biting you. Get someone else to bite you," I said giving an awkward smile.

"No one has ever got that close," he said seriously.

"Really?" I asked. I found it hard to believe that no one has ever done so in self defense.

"No, I'm quick as you've noticed. Not a bruise on me, as you've noticed." My smile left me realizing he was serious. Maybe if I comply it will work in my favor, I thought. I leaned in a couple inches then backed off, not wanting to get that close to him, to touch him with my mouth, then stopped.

"I can't do that."

"Bite me or, I'll bite you," he said creepily. My eyes widened, that was not exactly good clean fun coming from the mouth of a cannibal. He leaned into me. I took in a breath and leaned back. He leaned forward some more and began to rise up on his legs. Soon I only had the wall or the mattress to back into.

"Ok alright, ok." I said quickly and I put my hands on his shoulders. I swallowed and my lips parted. I tried not to think about the ridiculousness of what I was doing. I hesitated, feeling the warmth radiating off pale skin. I was aware that his mouth was just as close to my neck as mine was to his. I wanted to get this over with as quick as possible. So I bit him, but not hard. I withdrew quickly.

"There, are you happy now?" I asked sarcastically. He smiled and laughed a little.

"No, that wasn't a bite."

"It was too a bite," I argued seriously.

"I can show you what a real bite is."

"No," I said. He pulled me to him and I shoved away saying, "no" again. "No don't, ok, ok, ok fine." I said exasperatedly. He laughed close to my ear. I sighed and neared him and thought to myself, how bad could this really be? So I bit him, again. He took in a breath and whispered,

"Harder." So I hesitantly bit harder. He let out a very interesting sound. It was a whimper, a gasp and grunt. I withdrew not wanting to piss him off by hurting him. But before I could manage to pull back, his arms locked around my shoulders and he started to bite me. It was a soft bite at first but quickly became harder. Suddenly it became too hard for me to remain quiet.

"Kevin, stop." I gasped. He pulled away and looked at me curiously smiling. I immediately covered and rubbed the sore area. "Why did you do that?" I asked exasperated. "You said you wouldn't do that." His smile faltered a little.

"Because it felt good, and I thought since you're," he paused searching for words. "Since you're my, er going to help me, I wanted to share how you made me feel." His words had faltered delicately. I would've thought it endearing if it wasn't coming form an insane person. He became more serious. "You didn't like it?

"No that was too hard, much too hard."

"Oh, I won't do it as hard then," he said coming closer. I pulled away.

"No, no, no don't. No more biting." I said, not wanting the cannibals' mouth near me again. He smiled and laughed at my apprehensiveness.

"I'm not going to hurt you Elisha," he said bring me closer even as I pulled away. "Come here." I felt his teeth again and my breath hitched out of pain and fear. He bite a couple more times then I felt his lips. Then something changed. I felt his breath then I felt his lips again. I felt him lick and I shuddered. He continued to nibble and lick the length of my neck causing a strangled whimper to escape my throat and unbidden shivers to run down my spine. I balled my hands into fists being unsure of what was going on. The sensation stopped. I took a breath and realized my hands where clenching his shirt. Not pushing him away but not pulling him closer either. Shocked at what had happened, he withdrew with a look of seriousness and I awkwardly took my hands from his shirt and put them in my lap. "I've…never…done that…before," he said slowly, shocked at his own actions. I avoided his eyes, unsure of what to think and not liking how it had made me feel. Moments passed.

"I…um," I said wanting to break the awkward silence.

"What?" He inquired.

"Nothing," I replied not wanting to share what I was really thinking.

"Tell me," he said with a little bit of fear in his voice. Instead of putting him off and making him feel even more off putting then he already is, I opted for the positive commentary.

"Ok, I was just thinking that you think of yourself as such a freak but when you're wanting share something that made you feel good with the other person is actually very normal."

"And did you like it?" He followed up quickly. I was surprised at the question. I tried to keep a poker face. I didn't want to show him I liked it or that I did not like it either. It was my turn to falter and I had no idea what to say. The longer I was silent the more his smile left his face. "Did you?" He asked again. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because I-I don't know."

"You have to know," he said. "I need to know," he said almost desperate.

"I don't." I said, having no idea how to lie about this. It was serious, it was sexual. I'd rather die then admit that it felt good. I d rather die then have it awaken something in him. Something that could turn this arrangement into the very thing he saved me from.

"I should go," he said and bolted out the door. I almost felt sorry, almost. I didn't lie but why in the name of everything that is good, was I holding back from simply saying, 'no?'

I still longed to get out of here at least out of the lower room. I was thoroughly sickened of looking at the heads mounted on the wall. I know I've asked him to go upstairs several times already and he said no but I couldn't give up. It was one step closer to me getting out of here. He visited me the next day and was more reserved then usual. "What do you like to eat?" he asked. I was surprised.

"Uh," I said. "I don't know, anything I suppose, well almost anything," I added remembering his unthinkable appetites. I shot him a worried look.

"Oh no I would never. That's not for you," he said totally abhorred by the notion. I nodded relieved.

"Tell me, what do you like to eat?" he asked again. I felt I shouldn't or couldn't choose because of the circumstances event though he asked me. It was strange. I had been homeless for so long I had forgot what it felt like to have a choice. I certainly didn't feel like I had many choices here.

"Um," I said again. "What you've given me has been good."

"OK," he said. I hadn't lied, it really had been good. Their household seemed to have good eating habits except for the cannibalism.

"Kevin," I began. "I can't just stay down here. It's like solitary confinement. Its driving me insane."

"The answer's no."

"Please."

"The answer's still no," he said firmer.

"Kevin, if you could just please, just for a short time-"

"Would you like for my father to see you and ask what you're doing here? You can just tell him that you're helping me on my spiritual and emotional quest before he puts a bullet in your brain. Or he could tell me to stop playing with my food and to kill you myself. We can cannibalize you and feed the rest to the wolves." he replied with biting sarcasm. That tone that could bring tears to my eyes. A tone that told me he was tired of me asking. A tone that left me with no words. I slid off the bed and walked to the corner furthest from him and sat down. I glanced over and he was staring at me, quite unhappily. He hopped up and came towards me and I started to get nervous. He knelt down in front of me. I hid my face. He put his hand on my foot.

"How about you tell me how you felt about, that thing I did to you yesterday, and I'll consider us going upstairs?" he said carefully and full of mischief. My eyes widened in horror but I tried to hide it. I didn't ever want to mention that again. I put my hand over my mouth in response to this terrible ultimatum. Right now I was leaning towards being content to stay downstairs then talk about that. I was really hating him at that moment.

"I thought you would consider it anyway." My voice cracked. He shrugged innocently.

"Either you liked it or you didn't, you won't loose either way," he coaxed. I was outraged but I kept calm and replied coolly.

"Well if you're considering it just tell me when you've came to a conclusion, ok? I'll be down here, waiting," I replied insolently. I felt him grip my foot tighter.

"Why can't you just tell me?" he asked frustrated.

"Ok fine I didn't. I didn't like it at all."

"Ok then the answer is no!" He stood and went to leave.

"I answered your question! What more do you want?"

"I don't believe you," he said. I was angry.

"If you think you know then why'd you even ask?"

"I was hoping….I needed this. I thought we had something. I thought things could get better. Lying to me will make this meaningless and useless to me." Tired of being afraid of his words, insecurity and possible ill intentions I blurted out;

"You talk to me about honesty? It seems like if I do or say anything you don't like that I will ruin this. You make me feel the same way you did before you brought me here alone, empty and hopeless. You have to adjust your one sided way of seeing this. You're as close minded as your father when you're not hearing me when I say I need to get out of here, this room," I finished shaking and crying. Fearful of what my words would cause but not as fearful at the possibilities of the earlier conversation. He didn't seem angry. He looked worried.

"I-I should go," he said.

"No! don't go, don't leave me alone again," I said fearing that he might be mad enough to leave me for days again.

"Tell me the truth then.

"I am telling you the truth! It's just not what you want to hear."

"Don't make this hard on yourself."

"I'm not making this hard for me, you're making this hard for me, every single aspect of me being here." He calmly walked toward me.

"Haven't you the vaguest conception under god of how bad things could get?" he asked, verging on desperate. "Know that before you again say I'm not being an accommodating enough." I knew exactly how bad it could get so I backed down. He turned to leave I followed him to the door.

"No, don't go. We do have something-" He left me. I didn't even cry that time. I felt something like wanting to die. He had said he thought we had something. It left me to think I was running out of usefulness fast and I never knew if I'd wake up for the last time.


	7. Chapter 7

For days, he had sparsely came in to bring me food and had not stayed to chat. I said his name a few times and he just left, but once he hesitated, just once, but left anyway. My desperation grew. He was bringing food down to me again when he turned to leave. "I miss your voice." I said. He stopped but didn't turn around. I looked down, having heavily weighing both options, in the end I wasn't going to get free form down here. "I did," I said. He waked towards me.

"I thought so." He knelt down in front of me. "Why couldn't you just say it?" he asked me looking in my eyes as if he really had no clue. I looked away.

"I felt, ashamed," I said, more honest then I had thought.

"Ashamed?" he asked.

"This is not a normal situation. You know that? You understand that right?" He nodded slowly. I looked away. Then, with out warning he started to kiss my neck again. My breath caught in my throat from the sensation and I stilled myself against him going ridged from pleasure and repulsion. I waited in apprehension that his hands would want to go other places. I could barely think but then he thankfully stopped. "Why did you do that?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to and you liked it too." A small smile played on his lips. Again my expression trying not to give away disgust or delight. "You taste good," he smiled. I made a face but tried again to be discreet. "I'm not going to eat you," he said. I inhaled deeply.

"You're not? That's good." I forced a smile.

"Hey," he said and took out his phone again. "I want to take a picture. Tilt your head to the side and close your eyes."

"Why? You already took pictures of me."

"I want another." I posed as he asked. "Ok, now do it again, but now show me the face you make when I'm kissing you." I was taken aback.

"Why?"

"Because I want to see."

"I feel really uncomfortable with that."

"Why? You like it when I kiss you like that."

"That's why I feel uncomfortable. I told you, This is all very strange."

"Just, close your eyes," he said keeping the camera on me. I felt his finger tips moving hair away from my neck. I couldn't make the face he wanted, I just couldn't. He took a picture anyway.

Eventually I was left alone with my thoughts. I wondered increasingly if Kevin was going to show me the upstairs again. I hated that he manipulated me into telling him what he wanted to know. This meant he could ask anything of me and hold what I want over my head with out ever really reciprocating. I sighed in defeat at having to play his games.

He had came down for a visit and was sitting Indian style across from me when he asked;

"How many men have you laid with?" I furrowed my brows. The question disturbed me coming from him. I just another subject I absolutely didn't want to talk with him about.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I want to know."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"I'm not comfortable."

"Did someone hurt you?" I was caught totally off guard with the question and was moved tremendously. How could someone like him, someone who would likely resort to torture to get answers actually care enough to ask a question like that.

"Why can't you have friends?" I asked again, putting my hand on his leg. "Is that something your father tells you? Because you don't have to do this." I found myself being truthful if he was being truthful and sincere if he was being sincere. I found myself caring about him if he cared about me. It was strange and it was a whirlwind of emotion. "Let me go and find a way for myself in the city, away from the threat of your father. Let me go and I promise we can meet at a gas station every 2 AM and have a chat." Tears dropped down my face and I looked down, again, not wanting him to see me cry. I wasn't sure how much of that would actually end up being the truth but at the time I was feeling with my emotion more then with my mind. I felt his hands wrap around my arms. I chanced a look up at him. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't decide what. "Will you? can you? You can, I promise I'm not lying." He started to pull me towards him. "No, what are you doing?"

"Come here," he sat me between his legs wrapping his arms around my shoulders. We sat like that for a long time, in silence. He had never held me before. I wasn't sure what to think. I was beginning to think that maybe I had an affect on him, maybe he was realizing I was right. "Here, is where you belong." To my horror he began to speak and it wasn't what I had hoped it was. "We can spend more time upstairs. I thought about what you said. I'm not closed minded like my father or else I wouldn't have brought you here. I wouldn't be seeking a different way. We will spend more time upstairs. It will make me happy and it will make you happy. Just don't talk about leaving me."

"You're clingy like any normal, clingy guy." I said seeking to humanize and normalize him for both our benefits. He kept one arm around me and ran a hand down my arm.

"You didn't answer my question from before. How many?"

"What does it matter?" I asked. He squeezed me tighter.

"I really want to know," he pressed. I sighed, realizing that it would be easier to lie then to avoid the question. I recalled 5. Then I remembered he thought himself as some kind of Christian and his violent treatment of whores.

"One," I said so I wasn't completely lying.

"Really? Did you marry him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"He wasn't the marrying type."

"Then why did you sleep with him?" I was beginning to get frustrated but hid it.

"Because I'm the marrying type and I thought that he could see a future with me."

"I can see you are the marrying type. That's why you weren't out there selling your ass."

"Language," I teased quirking a half smile. He mirrored my look but then continued seriously.

"Not like those damned whores. I saved so many of them from their wicked ways." I grew uncomfortable but fired back;

"You don't think that some of them where just human beings running out of choices?"

"Sinning is a choice." He complete missed my point. My point was survival. My point was also desperation which could be applied to his case.

"Why are you still pushing it when you're having doubts?" I pressed.

"It's all I know!" he said loudly making me jump.

"But is it all you want to know?"

"No, I want to know more." His words gave me encouragement to proceed.

"Good. That's good. Read books. Realize your not a slave to so called sin or the writings in some ancient book. Realize that you aren't powerless. You have all the power to make the changes you need to feel better."

"You speak like a heretic," he spoke in my ear. "Maybe you weren't the right choice for me." I froze at those words.

"I thought you wanted help. I thought you wanted change. I thought I was making you feel better."

"I want the things that I did to work like they did before. I've tried to get it back before I came upon you but it was leaving me little by little. And it's gone now, it's…gone." I had said all I want to say on the subject. I hated talking about it. I could only plant seeds of doubt and sense moderately before I feel he'll kill me or just leave me down in this room to die. I let the silence pass between us.

"I like this," he said suddenly, hugging me tighter. "I've never done this. I've only ever seen it on TV. I feel better when I'm with you, certainly more then I thought possible."


	8. Chapter 8

I was sitting on the floor of my room when he came in. Walking over to me, he gave me his hand. I didn't want to take it but I thought it would be best for our relationship if I did. I took his hand and he lead me out the door. "Where are we going?" I asked apprehensively. He pointed upwards with his finger. I was in a state of disbelief. The living room was neat and clean. He gestured for me to sit down. "I'd like to walk around if I could?" He nodded. I wanted to know the lay out of the house and where the things I could use as weapons were located. I wandered into the kitchen. Everything was extremely well kept in there also. I walked around the table and noticed the knife holder, it was full. If I could only get one of those, I thought. I glanced over to find Kevin staring at me with his hands in his pockets. "You don't have to watch me the whole time we're up here."

"We're past that. It's what I do," he stated coming towards me. I stilled while he reached behind me knowing the knives where there. He handed me a small plate. "Hold this," he said softly. I did and he reached back again bringing a knife. My eyes followed the knife till he started to peel a peach. I let out the longest breath.

"Do you know what you did there?" I asked him.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Be super creepy. You scared the shit out of me."

"Oh," he said disappointedly. "It wasn't my intention. I cannot help the way others look at me. I get that reaction a lot. I'm used to it. Can't say I don't like it sometimes," he said as he peeled the peach letting the skin fall onto the plate I held. He sliced off a piece and took it off the tip of his knife with his mouth.

"You could stop kidnapping and murdering people. That could stop them from looking at you like that." He had froze with the knife tip still between his lips and I wondered in horror at where my insolence was coming from. Maybe I was getting cocky because I was one step closer to escaping. It was hard to read his face and I just wanted to put distance between us. I moved to the left but his hand was on the counter blocking me. I watched him slowly slide the blade from between his lips. I looked back and forth from the blade to his eyes. To my surprised, he continued peeling the peach. I slipped away from him. He looked at me in surprise.

"I wasn't done," he said.

"I was," I said and I realized I was still holding the saucer. I put it down and quickly went to the next room. In a moment he joined me.

"I was trying to help them. All they did was scream." He seemed to like to reminisce about his past deeds a lot, to my dismay. My spirit fell as I could imagine their fear. I experienced it myself.

"They didn't think you were helping them," I said.

"True, I tried to tell them you know. All I got was more screaming."

"Maybe you should've stuck to not talking."

"I had no one else to talk about it with. I haven't heard of anyone else with my same appetites. Besides, I wanted to tell them why they were here and that I was going to save them." I really hated when he talked about his religious cannibalism. But I had brought it up this time because I was trying to steer him away from it, a futile attempt as it was. It only came out as a smart remark and I felt lucky he didn't react badly.

"You talk like your still that person. You're not that person any more." He appeared lost in his thoughts.

"Those filthy whores," He said coldly. "They should've been crying at my feet, thanking me for redeeming their souls. I got a few of them to do actually that. I'd come in and tell them I was there to save them and I told them to thank me and they did. But it was all forced, meaningless." I was thoroughly disturbed.

"Kevin, you're not that person anymore," I said again.

"Maybe," was all he said.

"What about the other things you do?" I took a chance bringing up his other almost certainly unsavory activities.

"They make me money but I don't really care for them."

"Maybe those whores only sold themselves to make money, maybe they really didn't care for it, like your other sketchy activities."

"Are you saying I should've given my attention to more then just the whores?" he asked looking more and more horrified at the degree that he saw himself failing at. "Because there are so many, many more sinners," he finished disgustedly and despairingly.

"No, no-no-no-no-no." I grabbed his face. "That's not what I'm saying at all."

"Maybe I was supposed to save more people."

"Look at me. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry. Relax ok? That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying?" I was hesitant to answer with an answer that I felt would anger him even more. "What are you saying?" he shouted making me flinch away.

"I,I" I stammered.

"Yes," he pressed. I was quiet and couldn't even think to formulate a lie. "What?" he said forcefully.

"Could you please relax." He was shaking but I could tell he was holding back. "You shouldn't end those women's lives for doing questionable things that make them money when you yourself are guilty of the same. Hypocrisy."

"But I, I was saving them. At least, I never felt like a hypocrite."

"But now you feel different, that you can understand these things."

"Maybe," he said again.

"Can I put it to you this way? Would you let me save you?"

"What? That's absurd. You don't even believe."

"It doesn't matter what I believe. You believe in an afterlife, that you'll go to heaven when you die. Would you let me save you right now?" He gave me a side long gaze.

"No," he simply said.

"That's interesting," I responded.

"Indeed," he said.

Looking to relax and push the bad feelings I got from this strange situation out of my head, I walked into the living room. "It's really cozy in here. It's nice," I complemented sincerely and it certainly didn't hurt to make him feel that he's capable in other areas besides the one that he's so obsessed with and thought he failed at. "I like the fireplace. Do you ever use it?"

"Not since last year." he replied.

"I thought you didn't have a TV," I commented on the prehistoric huge box television set.

"The old one stopped working, this is an old new one. My father doesn't care for the newest of things. He gestured to the couch and said, "sit." I sat on the recliner instead.

"Do you watch much TV?" I asked.

"You can put it on." I flipped through channels finding they had cable. I looked over at Kevin.

"How much time do you spend on those?" I asked gesturing his nails.

"Not a lot. I'd love for them to be razor sharp but that's not humanly possible. I suppose they do adequate enough damage." I shook my head in wonder at them again. "My father thinks they're freakish, but you seem to like them." He looked thoughtful. "Come here," he said. "And bring the remote." I thought about saying 'no', but then I knew that cooperation would be a good thing. He patted the place next to him and I sat down reluctantly. He moved closer to me and I could feel the heat of his body. Up until now, he had always sat on the floor next to the bed or across from me. However, last time I had let him hold me. I leaned away subtly again thinking that I some how couldn't make him understand the concept of personal space. I flipped through channels and finally settled on something. He put his arm around the back of the couch, then around me. After a while he started to twirl my hair in his fingers and I could tell he was staring at me again. He leaned over as if to smell me then leaned closer still. I leaned away and turned toward him.

"Is there any show you watch at this time?" I asked hastily. "What do you like to watch?"

"Relax, I want to watch TV with you like the couples on TV. They look so comfortable and so happy." It was sad how full of longing he was. I found my empathy for him disturbing. He maneuvered me to sit with my legs over his lap, my back against the arm of the couch and his arms around me. "Watch anything. I just like you near. I'm always alone except when father's home." For a few moments we just stared at each other then went back to the TV.


	9. Chapter 9

Showering and spending time up upstairs every other day had become the norm. It felt like the nightmare was lifting in a way. I was thinking abut how I felt being there and sometimes it felt ok. He was never cruel or quick to anger. I could say he wasn't controlling but that would be ironic considering the situation. I mean that in the way that I could still choose what I wanted to wear, and to eat or watch on TV. I'd listen to him and sometimes get lost in the sound of his voice and he'd inquisitively listened to me. The situation was still the same and I was wondering, was I getting used to it? The situation concerning his father still disturbed me but Kevin made it like it almost didn't exist which was strange because we lived our lives around his fathers' comings and goings. Thankfully he was gone almost everyday usually morning to afternoon. I was his house guest and he was my keeper, my protector, my world. I wanted to leave, sometimes I really did. I could say I was biding my time. I needed his trust, means of escape and a long enough window of opportunity. I never once forgot who I was dealing with.

I had finished showering 5 minutes ago and was just enjoying the simple pleasure of the water falling on me. I heard the door open and shut quickly. I peaked out to see who it was. It was Kevin.

"What are you doing?" I asked shock at his presence. He shushed me.

"My father just got home. If he hears the shower running and I don't come out looking like I've showered, he'll be suspicious," he said while unbuttoning his shirt. I grabbed a towel quickly wrapping it around myself and stepped out. I innocently glanced over waiting for possible further instruction and I when I did, I did a double take. He was fair, flawless and lean but very strong. I caught myself staring and averted my eyes. Regardless of the situation, I didn't think he was one for being shy or modest. I made sure the door was locked and dried off and got dressed. It may have been 10 minutes, Kevin was actually showering and not just splashing water on himself. I would've appreciated that more if the situation wasn't twisted or life threatening. When he came out he wrapped a towel around his hips. He stuck his head out the door and motioned for me to follow him. Through the hall and down the stairs and I was back in the familiarity of the basement room.

Looking back at him, I sighed and noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses. People always look different with out their glasses. His eyes were large but not freakishly large. They fit his bone structure nicely. A long narrow nose, perfect defined brows. "So," he smiled with an eyebrow raised. "Now you're open for a staring contest?" I looked away fast and exhaled a heavy breath at being caught. "Looks like I win, again," he added lightly.

"No, it isn't, I wasn't meaning, to stare," I said in defense. What am I thinking? I scolded myself. "I was just," I began. "I was noticing you forgot your glasses. People look different with out their glasses. Have you thought about wearing contact lenses?"

"No, why?"

"Well, with all the um, with what it is that you do, it would be disastrous to get hit in the face."

"It would be disastrous but no one's going to hit me in my face." He smiled a little. "Try as they might. And," he added. "The point of lenses is strictly cosmetic. He then smiled like a normal guy, even appearing to be a little bashful. He looked away and a half dozen emotions flashed across his face. "Do you think I look better without my glasses?" I froze with my mouth open not knowing what to say.

"It was just observation based on your activities," I said.

"Oh," he said, looking serious, again. I really didn't know what to say. He lingered before me, staring at me. So I decided to ask him a question that at one point I asked many times.

"What are you thinking?" He hesitated.

"Nothing," he whispered, but I didn't believe him. "You'll see me after you sleep," he said and left. Both of us holding something back.

I woke to the sensation of being kissed on the mouth. I opened my eyes to the light of day and the face atop mine was Kevin's. I must have turned my head and fell back asleep. When I woke I wasn't sure if it had been a dream. I had smelled him and it was warm and comfortable. If it was real, my heart would've beat much faster not to mention I would've been at least a little apprehensive. I wasn't sure it had happened and I didn't want to ask him. If it was real, I wasn't sure I wanted to commit to going down that road.

We were upstairs again and I was lounging in the recliner, like it we were normal. Just a couple of people who didn't get out much. No, we were certainly not normal. I looked over to Kevin, his gaze was somewhere else and he wasn't looking at me. "What?" He asked. "You're staring."

"I'm staring?" I asked in mock incredulousness. "I very much hope that doesn't bother you." He smirked.

"No, I'll just stare back." He rose up from the couch continuing eye contact and walked over to me.

"Why do you stare?" I finally asked.

"Force of habit." He stood behind the chair. "A habit that unnerves everyone I've met. It's not my intent but I find it amusing." He bent down and smelled my hair. A part of me was asking why I wasn't getting up and putting some comfortable distance between us. "It's eerie when someone stares. You don't know what they're thinking."

"Could you tell me what you're thinking?" She watched him walk around to the front of her.

"Things couldn't be better."

"Really?" I asked surprised. I wasn't really sure how he felt either way. He can be happy on the outside but still be the same broken person on the inside.

"I can't describe it. You make me feel normal, like a person again. Like a good person, like I'm doing something right."

I'm so glad to hear that. You have no idea," I said not feeling it was a good enough answer to thoughts that were so profound. He took me by my arms and pulled me up.

"I'm glad that you're glad. This is good for both of us. You can like me like a normal person." He looked at me with wide eyes that could easily be mistaken for innocence. He stepped closer to me, looking in my eyes. He slip his hands up to my shoulders. My eyes darted to the side. Closer still his face came to mine and I was trying not to back away. But he was so calming and inviting and beautiful. He was flawless, happy and kissing me again. It was very innocent and delicate, coming from a place of total inexperience. I didn't want to do this. A part of me thought I shouldn't want to do it. I wasn't stopping it. I was attracted to him since day one and I guess I was grateful to him of course for saving me. Was it Stockholm Syndrome? I didn't really want this or did I? Why did I want it? All I knew was that I did.

We were in my room and the sun had been up for hours. It was long past our usual bedtimes. "I want to take a picture." He passed me the phone. I held my hand up. "Give me your hand." He held his up and I threaded my fingers though his bending them down at an angle where I could see them the best and took a picture. "There, now you have a memory in case you decide to cut them off one day." He smiled contented. "I'm getting really tired," I said.

"Me too." he replied. "I don't want to leave." he added.

"You don't have to leave," I said, knowing that he has stayed and watched me sleep before.

"I mean, I don't want to go to sleep upstairs, alone." I looked at him and had no idea what to say. My mouth hung open for a lot of reasons. I was surprised and taken aback that it seemed he was asking to stay and I knew I should be worried but I wasn't. I had got to know him, the things he would do and the things he wouldn't do. I thought I had a good handle on what to expect. Still, I knew I was playing with fire, a young man, likely a virgin and highly suppressed. I still didn't say anything. Giving him permission felt wrong. "I want to be like the couples on TV," he referenced again.

"Couples on TV," I repeated, knowing that he must have seen the sexual aspect of sleeping together as well but I didn't know if that was what he wanted. At least, it didn't sound like it. I didn't want to mention that part.

"What's wrong? You looked worried."

"I…" I began but didn't want to elaborate.

"What? What is it?" he asked already climbing next to me. I turned to him.

"I don't think this is a good idea," I said terribly unconvincingly.

"Why not?"

"I just don't think it's…proper," I finished, thinking that was a word he would understand.

"I don't want to be alone," as he cuddled up close. I felt his breath on my shoulder bringing me a step closer to relaxing. He made an appalled face and raised his head.

"Wait, proper?" He placed his arms on my chest and lied his chin atop them and looked down at me. "You think that I want…if I wanted that, I could have the whores of Old Town. I never wanted them. I found them disgusting, sad and evil. Even before I was introduced to Catholicism I found them sad and disgusting." He smiled a little small down at me and continued staring. I didn't know how I should feel about that statement. I kind of agreed with him. A part of me was glad I agreed. A part of me was wondering why it mattered to me. It felt like, in a very twisted way, like he was pledging himself to me. He had made no mention of us in a sexual manner. It was just what I garnered from how he acted. He made his dislike for loose women known. Isn't that what every girl wants to hear? I was moved even though it was twisted. He stopped smiling. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

"It's just, you're so different from what you are, what you were, what I thought you were," I said trying to grasp and cover everything I have been though with him. "I wasn't expecting standards or morals, or any kind of care.

"I'm pleased to have surprised you. You don't see me like most people do. You've made me feel normal like I can have a normal life. Just a normal guy with dubious business practices." He smiled wider and put a finger to his lips in a secretive manner. He grew serious. "And it's all because of you. You're precious to me." He gave me a lingering chaste kiss and settled down next to me. I was on my back and looking over at him while he slept on his stomach his face, facing mine.

The door conveniently had padlock latches on both sides, meaning that he must have the key on him some where. I wasn't to the point of initiating physical contact with him except his hands. I have touched his hands. I didn't want to wake him up giving him any ideas or make him suspicious.

It occurred to me that it didn't matter what his thoughts or standards were on sex with whores. What mattered is his thoughts on sex with me. I wouldn't touch that subject. And what's scarier was that this is far from a normal. Believing this to be normal in anyway is a delusion. I never did believe that for one second that I was really safe. I was just doing what I had to in order to get through this.


	10. Chapter 10

After that night, he started to spent most nights or bedtimes with me. He was always innocent like a child with their teddy bear. The day started much like every one before it. We were upstairs making pancakes and watching TV. He excused himself to use the bathroom and I looked around. There was some mail and curiously I picked it up. It was addressed to a Mr. Roark. I swallowed hard. The head of the Basin City mafia, said to have his hand all the important decisions including politics, crime and drugs. However, no one could prove it. Charges never stuck and he owned the majority of all the important people there. People were paid off or they would disappear. You would fear them if you had any sense. You would leave Basin City if you knew what was good for you. But still people stayed. They didn't want to be run off from their home. Some had made good lives here. That's why they stayed I suppose. Heck, I even stayed and I had nothing. I regret that now. Kevin came in the room I saw him and dropped the letter.

"Kevin, who's house is this?" I asked dumbly wanting him to lie just to comfort me. I was shaking. Kevin saw the letter drop on the floor. He was silent. "Roark as in the Roark family," I squeaked. "The mafia family and I'm staying in his house, oh my god, oh my god," I repeated. Kevin neared me slowly and put his arms around me. I pushed him away but he came a me holding me tighter. "This is so much worse then I thought. I can't be here anymore. Can we go somewhere else anywhere else? Please. I don't want-" I started to cry.

"He's not going to find you. You're mine. He's not going to find you, my own. He's not going to find you. Don't cry." His voice was so gentle, so comforting, like some relaxing spell, however disturbing the words were. He pulled away and looked in my face even though I covered half of it with my hands. "Shhh, he'll never know. All you have to do is be quiet." He put his finger to his lips. There was the crazy again, the crazy that almost disappeared during our time and our talks upstairs.

"No," I said.

"Yes," he countered. The need to escape was made anew.

"No," I said again, tears streamed down my face.

"Shhhh,"

"If you care anything about me you'll-" He embraced me again.

"Just be quiet."

"Kevin please."

"Be quiet." I wanted to push him away but only weakly put my hands on his chest.

"Why aren't you listening to me?" I asked knowing he'd ignore the question.

"He'll never know. You're my secret. Mine alone. He'll never know, never ever know," he chanted softly. If his father did find out about me, maybe Kevin wouldn't let him hurt me. As ludicrous as it was, I let myself be lulled into a sense of security. Subdued, by his kind tone that wrapped itself around my brain like his arms wrapped around my body. It was that or my mental and emotional state would collapse.

"Ok Kevin," I put my arms around him as well. "I'll be quiet," I said. He pulled back and looked at me bright eyed and gave me a long modest kiss on the lips.

We where upstairs and I was staring out the window. It was a warm sunny day. He was watching TV. "Can we go outside?" I asked. There was a long pause.

"That's not a good idea. You need to stay hidden," he replied.

"Why not? We spend so much more time upstairs then we used to." I said desperately. He looked to me.

"Doesn't knowing who's house this is make you want to stay hidden?"

"Hidden? I don't even want to be here," I said hastily. He stood. His brows knitted together.

"So you still want to leave? I thought you wanted this. You made me think you wanted this. Are you just pretending with me?" he asked distraughtly as if he was going to go over some invisible edge. I only rolled my eyes thinking, 'crazy, he's so crazy,' and sighed heavily.

"No, no. It's your father. It's not you. This is your fathers house. I don't feel safe here I-"

"Everything is going fine," he cut me off walking up to me and urgently taking my hands in his. "He's not a part of this."

"What do you mean? We're right under his nose," I pointed out.

"He's not looking for us," he continued annoyed this time. "Don't go looking for a reason to bring him into what we have. You know I don't want to loose this. Now, stop talking about it."

"I don't really want to leave," I tried to smooth it over. "I wish we could just meet a 24 hour diner, you know?"

"Look around," he started shaking. This is what we have," he said getting angry, no longer the calm comforting voice he had been before. "It's every bit as good as anywhere else. We have everything we need here. Things would be the same if we were anywhere else. You're lucky I found you," he said scornfully. "There are worse criminals out there then me."

"I'm not so sure of that," I commented thoughtlessly. Suddenly, I was thrown up against a wall and pinned there with his arm and the murder in his eyes. He shook with a will that looked like it wanted to shatter me. I looked into his smoldering blue eyes and didn't say a word, not a subject change, not an apology, not even a plea. We just stared at each other. I wasn't totally convinced he'd hurt me. Did I think I knew him that well? He took his hands off me. After that tense moment we only communicated with looks until he ushered me back to my room and left me.

I asked myself over and over why I didn't ever leave Basin City. Why did I stay here so long after the shit hit the fan? I came to the conclusion, laziness. I wasn't in a hurry to hitchhike even from a city with crime as high as it was here.

I woke to find him staring at me. It was night time but the moon cast just enough light through the bars to see him. "I'm not angry at you," he said as he put a hand under my chin gently. "You know there's worse out there then me, don't you?"

"Of course I do. I know Kevin. I know you aren't the worst."

"This is the way it has to be, ok?" I was so tired and not in the mood to argue. I was defiantly not in the mood to argue with a person who's grip in reality was loose. What a thought to get woken up to, the assurance that things won't get better, I thought. I took his hand.

"I know, I shouldn't have suggested otherwise," I said in the vein of pleasing him. He maneuvered himself over me and cuddled up behind me, holding me tight.

"I missed you. I missed the scent of you and the feel of you." he said.

I stayed awake for a long time while he laid behind me. I thought many things. One thought was how he could've resorted to violence when I upset him earlier but that he didn't. Then right now, how he assured me he wasn't mad at me anymore. Those where small blessings in this situation and I felt perhaps I little more cared for and brought me more comfort then it should've.

A few days passed. "Come with me," he said and I followed him upstairs. I had been there once before when he showed me around the first time. There was a storage room, a full bathroom and his bedroom. His room was large and sparsely furnished. Everything immaculate like I expected. An ivory colored comforter sat atop of a full sized bed with a fancy looking wooden frame. I had not thought about till now. The kind of lifestyle and order a cannibal would have. I didn't think of a neat cultured monster like Hannibal Lector. I had thought them to be a dirty filthy un-kept ruthless people. He drew back the blanket and gestured for me to lie down. I noticed the sheen of the matching ivory colored sheets and smiled in spite of myself. Where they satin? Did _he _have satin sheets_? _ "Why are you looking that way? What's so funny?" he half smiled.

"You have satin sheets." I said.

"I do," he said as if it was normal. "You look so surprised." He ushered me under the covers while he went to the other side and slipped in beside me and faced me with his innocent amused expression.

"I am, It's just nothing like what I expected. I haven't known many men to have satin sheets."

"But you haven't been in the beds of many men."

"Right, and it's not something you hear in mixed conversation, you know, a guy bragging about the new sheets he bought."

"I suppose not."

"None of this was at all what I was expecting," I added.

"What," he smiled. "Where you expecting, squalor, us living like animals?" I was glad that he had said it and not me.

"I was," I answered.

"Not all wrong doing is ugly on the surface."

"Are you admitting you…?"

"What? That I've done wrong? We all have at some point, but me, the past me, was wrong. I'm very close to certain of that now." I was overwhelmed by his revelation. I took his hand in both of mine and squeezed.

"I'm so glad that you feel that way that you can be happy with out doing the things you've done in the past." He put his arm around me and moved closer.

"I've been happy in the past but nothing can be an adequate substitute for someone real. Someone being with you, with me, like this." We lied there a while and spoke of random things.

After a while he heard a car outside. His eyes grew wide and he jumped up to look out the window. He took a deep breath and scowled. "Father's home."

"Will he come up here?" He bent down in front of me.

"No, listen, don't move, don't say anything. I'm going to go downstairs for a while and talk to the old man. He will probably go to bed around 9:00. Again, don't move. The floor boards creek." I was secretly and shamefully glad to be stuck somewhere else for a change. I stretched out on the bed and found it a little firmer then the one downstairs. I usually slept through most of the day so I didn't find it difficult to relax. The sheets and pillow smelled like him. It was a natural pleasant and calm scent, which was hard to admit. What was even harder to admit was how I found it pleasant. It wasn't a big deal right? It was just a smell. I woke to the sight of him sitting in a chair reading a book.

He joined me on the bed and started kissing my neck. It felt nice but I still didn't want to encourage him. He started unbuttoning my shirt. "Don't," I said suddenly. He had never tried to take my clothes off.

"I want to taste more of you," he said not stopping.

"No. I don't want you to do that." I didn't want it, though if it were any other situation I would. I didn't feel comfortable and I didn't think it was right. I was also ashamed that I even let him kiss me in the first place. I buttoned my shirt back up as he was unbuttoning it. I went to push him a way but gasped from pleasure instead. I involuntarily arched my back, encouraging him further. Every moment that went by he was shockingly gentle. It was just bliss. I squirmed and gasped with every movement of his mouth and every new spot he reached. Then I felt him pulling my pants down.

"What are you doing?" I tried to move away and quickly covered myself. "What are you doing?" I repeated. "Don't. I thought you only wanted to…I really don't want this. Would you stop. Stop right now." My pants hung around one ankle and he was back atop my with his hands on the sides of my face.

"Shhh, I've been wanting this for such a long time, even before I knew you, but I'm glad I waited.

"Can't we at least talk about this?" I said, finding my calm. "Kevin,"

"And I know you've been with someone before and it's ok. I didn't want to hurt you."

"Kevin,"

"Shh, you have to be quiet, father's sleeping." He was already partially undressed.

"Kevin," I said. My body was ready. Looking into my eyes, he drew in a quick breath and started to take what he wanted. "Kevin…" I said again. Pleasure overtook his features and he closed his eyes. He buried soft grunts and strangled sounds of pleasure into the side of my neck and I could not think. It was divine and just as arresting as his earlier ministrations.

It was over fairly quickly. He rolled off on to his back catching his breath. I quickly covered up.

I slowly started to be able to think again. I didn't know how I felt. I felt so many different things. Ashamed, turned on, violated, helpless and guilty. We looked at each other. "I've never felt anything like that," he said catching his breath. "I think you're my new religion," he smiled. "My own personal Jesus." This could not be happening. This just can not be happening, I thought.

That event birthed a new discomfort in our relationship. I was uncomfortable with how it happened, though, I wasn't as disgusted as I should've been. I could've fought harder but, everything happened so fast. Then a dagger of total unreason entered my mind, he pleasured me, maybe I shouldn't dislike it. Maybe what he did was a actually good. Maybe if I could let go of the situation of being under his fathers' roof and the strange relationship we had even for a little while I could've enjoy it. But that was just the point. I should be 100% ok with the situation at hand and I wasn't.

I still felt the need to get out. I wanted to see the lay of the land to plan my escape from this place accordingly, even though the conversation didn't go well last time. I figured I'd ask again and be a little more charming this time. I had noticed his fathers car keys on the coffee table one time during the night. Those keys would be my salvation.


	11. Chapter 11

I approached him with a small smile. "I was thinking we could go outside today," I said as I put my arms a top his shoulders. "We could go for a walk or a picnic." He smiled widely and drug his nails up the sides of my pants.

"Hmm," he mused. We went out walking that morning. At one point I out stretched my arms and started spinning like I was in the play called 'The Sound of Music.' Kevin just smiled. We laid a blanket out under the shade by the edge of the woods. After we ate the main courses, he started to peel an apple. He offered me a piece and I reached for it. "M-mm," he waved his finger, "Just use your mouth." I looked at him incredulous and horrified because my mind when straight to the gutter.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I want to watch." I didn't make a move.

"I changed my mind. No thank you. I'm actually quite full."

"What's wrong? What changed?"

"Nothing," I insisted.

"Your acting strange." He looked at me skeptically. My mind quickly thought that if I didn't make a big deal out of it then he wouldn't. Maybe his mind had not went to the place I thought it had and my acting strangely would only give him ideas.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to act strange. Is it sweet or is it the sour kind?"

"It's sweet. I don't like the sour ones."

"Good, neither do I. I thought it was one of the sour kinds," I lied as I took the bite of fruit in the manner he suggested. I glanced up at his half smile and arched eyebrow and turned red from embarrassment.We shared the rest of the apple then he leaned over. I just froze as he kissed the apple juice from my lips. He leaned away.

"I love you," he admitted. I was overwhelmed. I was in reasonable disbelief. I sniffled and started to tear up. I still hated crying in front of him. It seems I was always crying. Out of fear, anger, sadness, being moved, or relief. It felt nice to hear him say that, after all we've been through. This was relief because it only underlined that he wasn't the same person that he was when we met. It was assuring. I liked him when he was nice. Doesn't every girl want a boy to say they love them? However, it was still crazy. His love could and likely was just as skewed as his morals when he met me. I was still his guest, not at all free to come and go and required to stay under his notorious fathers roof.

"What is it?" He took me in his arms. "What's wrong?" he asked sincerely worried.

"No, nothing's wrong," I lied. "I'm just…overwhelmed," I said.

"Good. Stay overwhelmed, stay happy, because nothing could be better then this," he said. I wished I could see him as a person more often. I mean sometimes I did. He seemed really caring at times. Like now, I don't doubt he had strong feelings for me, but actual love? I doubted it. He leant over and started kissing me again. He pushed me backwards, leaned over me and kissed me.

I had thought about his relationship with his father. I thought about him being a remorseless hit man someone who could kill a person with out a second thought or because he actually thought he was helping someone. Helping them, I thought. If he realizes that his father is standing in the way of his happiness with me and his independence, maybe he could take his own father out.

We where in the basement again. He delicately touched the bare skin of my ankle then moved up further. I pulled away. He moved closer and put his hand on my knee. "You know those whores," he began. "I never thought to touch them." His hand moved up my thigh. I took his hand to stop him.

"Really?" I questioned.

"Really, I never liked them. Not like I like you."

"I really like spending time upstairs and outside like normal people." I said changing the subject.

"If this was my house, we go on picnics and walks every day, at all hours. When ever you felt like it. You'd never have to whisper, or sneak around and you'd never sleep separate from me," he said quickly and the gears in my head started to turn.

"I know you don't have qualms about ending someone's life and I thought if someone where in your way, if someone was preventing you from having what you wanted, you would just deal with them, you know?" I manipulated. He was silent for a while almost making me think I shouldn't have suggest it.

"What are you saying? Are you saying I should?" He couldn't even say it. "He's the one who took me in. He saved me when I had nothing. Gave me a life. Gave me a way I could live with myself."

"Are you sure he didn't just make all that soul saving stuff up to make you feel indebted to him, like you need him when he's just using you for your profitable talents." He looked at me crossly with his mouth open but didn't say anything.

"My other talents have nothing to do with the other's I've killed." he stated trying to remain calm.

"Yes they kind of both have to do with each other. They both involved your father. He gives you sanctuary and a way to deal with your guilt here and you do the City's dirty work. Disbelief, sadness and anger washed over his features.

"Shut up! He was trying to help me! I might have lived in squalor if he didn't find me. But I'd have sooner died! What you're saying cannot be true. Never speak of it again!" His sudden anger frightened me. His voice hard but strained, it brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't handle it when he lost it. It made me loose it. I went to get up. I wanted to get away from him. I couldn't really leave, couldn't go anywhere, let alone say anything. It was claustrophobic. He grabbed me as I tried to walk away from him. He held me from behind, making me angry and I fought his grip.

"Then don't touch me again!" I said through clenched teeth. "Get off me. Get away from me. Stop! Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Because," he said in my ear. "I don't like it when you try to get away from me." In my mind I repeated like a mantra, I'll get away from you, I'll get away from you, over and over_. _

"I have no where to go. Let go of me." I said more angry then anything.

"I asked you to tell me I could have both," he squeezed me tighter. "Both you and this place and you did. Now you're telling me I can't?"

"Where am I going to go? Let go of me."

"Now you're trying to drive a wedge between us and suggesting I kill him, kill my own father."

"He's no real father. You both are just convenient for each other.

"That's evil," he continued, ignoring me. The evil I sought to purge the world from. Maybe it does exist." I gave up at that moment and tears streamed down my face. I wish he would just let me be. He held me for a long time and buried his face in my neck which I loathed. I wasn't looking for comfort or contact of any kind. I just wanted to be let alone. He sat me down on the mattress and wrapped himself around me from the side. My shoulder against his chest, his forehead against my ear. He turned my face to look at him but I remained unresponsive.

"I'm sorry. Look at me. I…I didn't mean it. You're not evil, not at all. Look at me. You being here with me, I've never had a better time. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Will you look at me? please. But that talk of getting rid of my father has to stop.

We had to make up. I didn't want to but I needed to. But sometimes he makes it so easy, like if I didn't know him and he asked a favor I wouldn't hesitate. He had a deceivingly personable smile and astonishingly calming voice. Large expressive eyes guilty of making a person ok with doing things they know are wrong and feeling ways they know they shouldn't. This was one on the times I saw him as human, flawed, but a part of him truly fond of me and patience in his touch that I knew I should value.


	12. Chapter 12

He had left me alone outside to take something out of the oven, get a blanket, a book and to use the bathroom. I didn't have the keys but I had a chance right now, a chance to finally get out of here. The car would be faster but I have a chance in this moment and this moment only. If I go back for the keys, I'll be seen. Every second that ticks by lessens my chance of escaping. I wasn't sure which direction to go. I could go towards the road which was open area or I could disappear into the woods. I was hoping if I went towards the road that a car would come along and I could catch a ride. I made for the woods, thinking that later, after the sun sets that I'll make my way to the road and hopefully hitch a ride. I couldn't stop looking back. As I was running, I couldn't shake the thought of one of the cars out looking for me might be, no, very likely would be Kevin's. I started to panic even more and looked behind me again. I should go into the woods for now. I looked back again. I was starting to feel exhausted. All that time cooped up in a room had made me very out of shape. Still I ran. I was almost to where the woods began. I looked back, still no one. I found a tree large enough that I could hide behind. I gasped for air and tried to steady my breathing. I peaked out from behind the tree. I think I saw him standing by the porch. I didn't want to move but I had to get father away. I didn't know if he was looking in my direction but I had to take that chance. My eyes searched for another wide tree to hide behind. I ran for another tree in the distance. The trees where dense but not dense enough to be concealed. When I slipped behind I realized I couldn't run anymore and could barely breath. My exhaustion was getting the better of me. I looked back. I couldn't see the clearing very well but I was sure I saw Kevin sprinting towards the woods but not in my direction. I breathed a breath of relief that he had not seen me. Then suddenly I had to look around everywhere for him not just behind me. I started to run in the opposite direction of where I had seen him. Running then hiding behind a tree to listen was my best option I thought. Thinking I could out run and outsmart a ninja was what I had to believe. He didn't have super hearing, or super sight. It was just that when he had you in his sight he was super fast. I came to a ledge, ran down the side then underneath. I finally felt like I was safe. I'd stay here till nightfall. After all, I was used to staying in one spot for a very long time.

I didn't know how much time passed. I heard branches cracking above the ledge as if someone was running. I closed my eyes and started to shake again. The sound of someone hitting the ground made me open my eyes. Kevin had landed in front of me, with his back to me only feet in front of me. I put my hand over my mouth. He turned and saw me. He exhaled a heavy breath and sneered at me. I couldn't think of anything to say. Slowly, I moved out from under the ledge.

In the blink of an eye, he took me by the throat and my legs were swept out from under me. I was stunned from the fall. My hands flew up and for a moment and I glimpsed his face. It was the most frightening he had ever been. I attempted to twist out from under him, pushing and kicking against him. In a moment that seemed like forever but was only seconds, I was pinned to the ground by one of my wrists and neck. "You're trying to leave me. You could you leave me? How, how could you do this to me? I spoke to you. I showed you a part of me no one has seen, but you only pretended to care," he said with his voice cracking.

"Kevin wait," I said grasping at his hand. He released my wrist and used both hands to choke me.

"You betrayed me!" He got angry again and his grip grew tighter as he spoke. "I talked to you! I did what you wanted! I was nice to you. I never wanted to hurt you. I treated you like a person. I thought you could do what I wanted!"

"Kevin stop I can't-" My grip grew slack as I fell unconscious.

"Do what I needed," he continued quietly. "What I need." His heart stopped a moment, not sure if he had killed me or not. He noticed my intake of breath then fell on the ground next to me. His eyes fixed on me and his hand resting below my neck. Noticing water blur his vision he wiped at his eyes and decided what to do. He picked me up and carried me back to the house.

I woke in the room that had been mine with a familiar terrible feeling. Kevin was staring at me crossly. "Why didn't you kill me? Why didn't you just let me die?" I asked. He got up and left. He was back to not speaking to me again.

A day later I woke up horrified to find a young girl on the floor in the room. I crept close to see if she was still alive. She was breathing and had a bump on her head. She was dressed like one of those girls working street corners. Fear nearly suffocated me as to why she was here. She woke.

What's going on? She asked me. I couldn't tell her. There was no way to tell her. Her freaking out wouldn't be of help to either of us. "Where am I? Who are you?"

"I-I'm," I stammered. Feeling the bump on her head and growing afraid she asked,

"What happened?"

"I-I don't know," I said dumbly. I was afraid I knew and I definitely didn't want to think about the why it happened. She picked herself up off the floor. I tried to help her but she ignored me. She went to the small barred window.

"What is this place?" she asked getting the same feeling that I once did. She looked to me fearfully.

"Just some farm," I answered dumbly not being able to be of much help. She ran to the door and tried to open it.

"Somebody, is somebody there! Help!" She screamed with neither help nor hurt the situation. She was brought here to die anyway. After a while she looked at me. "Why are you so calm about this?" she asked. I thought about my answer.

"I've been here for awhile," I replied.

"Why? What's going on?" She asked again. I couldn't bring myself to tell her. "Oh my god, what are those?" she asked walking over to the heads. "These are real aren't they?" she asked shaking on the verge of freaking out. "Who's doing this? What do they want with us?"

I heard the door. I ran up to Kevin quickly. "Can we please talk about this please?" I whispered urgently and grabbed his arm. "Please!" I begged. He brushed me off and grabbed the girl. "Kevin no. Don't do this. I'm sorry I ran but I really didn't want to be under the threat of your father anymore."

"Did I give you two enough time to bond? Did you make friends with her?" he asked scathingly.

"Kevin stop. You don't have to do this."

"I need to do this now more then ever," he seethed.

"Don't do this. You said it doesn't work. Don't do it."

"Do what?" the girl screamed.

"That's true I'm not happy! I have nothing to loose."

"Yes you do, you want to find another way, with me." He managed to keep a hold of the struggling girl in one hand while his fingers wrapped around my throat and I slammed into a wall behind me.

"How dare you! It's over now."

"Oh yeah," I asked daringly. "Then why aren't I dead?" The girl found a weak spot while he was distracted and got loose of his grip on her. He let go of me but regained control easily by striking her once rendering her half unconscious, then turned his attention back to me. "Answer the question," I pressed. "Why aren't I dead?" He was silent and his face softened a little. Then as quickly as it became soft he became angry again and seethed;

"because I wanted you to see what you've made me do. This is your fault." He turned to take the girl upstairs and I stepped in front of him and the door.

"Then take me instead." He appeared disgusted by the idea. "If I really ruined everything we had, then you have no reason to keep me alive." I walked towards him attempting to take his hand.

"Stay away!" He shouted holding his hand out with his claws pointed menacingly toward me.

"I'm not afraid of those," I said bravely but shaking. He stepped forward and shoved me out of the way easily. I fell to the floor. "Kevin no!" I called after him. I surrendered myself to the floor and sobbed. Shortly after he had left, I heard him scream from upstairs. It made my blood run cold. I put my hands over my ears and curled up even tighter.

Hours later he came in and stood by the mattress. "I consumed her and it didn't work." I thought in my mind, of course it didn't work we already established that. You're crazy. "I still don't feel any different then before," he went on depressingly. "Not the way I felt when you," he hesitated. "When we," he hesitated again. He knelt down on the floor next to the bed. Observing that I was staring into nothingness, he cupped my face and tried to turn me to look at him. I was unresponsive. Soon, he left.

I had not made a sound. I still didn't want to involve his father even though I knew it would mean most certainly my end. I wanted it to be over. It was better then this. Maybe I didn't want his father to be upset with him at how long he has kept me around. Maybe I didn't want death as much as I said.

Kevin laid in his bed, sheets where held tight in his fists, and his face upset.

He came in my room and I had not the energy to move. I sat on the floor and watched him come in and take my blanket and pillow and leave. New tears fell. I thought it punishment, however strange.

On his bed, he held the blanket to his face and inhaled the scent. He wasn't sure if he should be near her. Part of him wanted to hurt her. Another part of him wanted them to heal.

I heard him come in and I didn't move. I almost didn't care. I was curled up in a fetal position and he boldly curled up behind me. He hesitantly touched my shoulder. "It's not you're fault, that I'm like this." he admitted delicately. "I was a mess before I met you." Him blaming me before was purely because he felt betrayal and rejection. He didn't want to admit that at first because it would mean that he had somehow developed feelings for me empowering me to actually hurt him.

"Why didn't you just kill me. It would be easy for you. It's what you do." I turned to him. "I want you to kill me. I can't do this anymore. Being stuck down here in alone, starving, traumatized. Having to walk on eggshells because your career criminal father would want me dead if he found out I was here. You tired to kill me. You killed that girl," I said as new tears fell. "Don't you hear me? Just finish it!" I yelled and started to push, hit and kick at him. "Do it, come on! I hate you." I started screaming.

"Shh, shh, stop, stop." He tried grabbing my hands but I was vicious, weak but vicious. He wrapped his body around mine, pinning my arms between us with the side of his face on mine. "Shh, shh, stop, please stop," he said gently. "I don't want to hurt you." I fought till I further wore myself out.

"Why? It's all you've been doing, just, just end it already." I sobbed.

"I don't want to," he said insistently.

"Why?"

"Because I like you."

"You're sick."

"And even if our relationship was feigned on your part, I still like you. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not stupid. I could see in your actions, little moments where you liked me."

"No one could like you, you were right, you don't have friends."

"I know you don't mean that."

"If you give me the chance, I'll kill you." He unwound himself from me but still kept me close.

"Don't you see what you've done to me?" His blue eyes poised to instill sympathy into me but I refused to look at them. "You've delivered me from the repercussions of my reverence to my religion that left me. Delivered me from my hollowness, my unhappiness, my prison."

"And this is what I get for it," I said incredulously. "You're crazy."

"I wouldn't have done to that girl what I did again. If I could take it back I would," he said remorsefully. "I knew it wouldn't work. I just felt that I had to make you feel as shocked, hurt and angry as I felt when you left. I hurt you because I was hurt. Not so crazy." I started to cry, feeling defeated. His reasoning made sense but in no way made it forgivable. "Look, look at me, my precious," he combed his clawed fingers through my hair and I did look at him. "There, see? I was so lost before I met you. We saved each other, you in that alleyway and me from my devout, disillusioned appetites." He made it sound like it was nothing, nothing I should stay upset for. I didn't want to be upset. I wanted, needed relief. And he was emanating tranquility. His signature calm that I'd like to compare to snake charmer or witch craft because it was beyond all reason as to how he was calming me down, at least for now.

He gave me free reign of the house when his father was gone. His eyes weren't always on me. Some times he went about like I wasn't there. But mostly he paid me attention like it was before. He had attempted to kiss me lustfully like he did before. I told him to stop and he did. He resorted to holding me for long periods of time even more then before. He was very affectionate and delicate however, I saw him as uncomfortably clingy and never wanted to see his jealous side.

I was no closer to being ok living under his Mafia father's roof now then I was when I had first found out about it. I never got over the day when I ran and just to get back at me, he killed a girl practically in front of me. He promised me he would never do a thing like that again. That that act was the death of his old self and the birth of his new self, the one he felt he could show to me, the one that wouldn't hurt me. However, I couldn't overlook the events of that day, nor did I feel like should. No sane person would accept it. Anyone who did what he had done should spend the rest of their life in prison.

Only days later, we where upstairs in his bedroom. "I wanted to show you an article I read in a magazine but I left it in the basement." I said.

"I'll get it," he offered. "Which magazine?"

"No, I'll go get it. I'll be very quiet, I promise."

"Ok," he said.

He heard his fathers car roar to life and he sprang to the window. He watched me haphazardly back the car up with his hand on the window sadly. I sped off into the night. Crying nearly hysterical from the relief of escape, I floored it not knowing where I was going. I knew eventually I'd run out of gas and hopefully have reached a town by then. I then planned on ditching the car and hitchhiking anywhere, just far away from here.

He had known this day would come. Only now his head was spinning with ideas on what he should do. She was safe from his father. As of right now his father thought his son had left so hastily with the car. He could phone his connections in high places and tell them to be on the look out for his father's car. He could tell them to seize it and hold what's inside till he gets there. However, he didn't trust those goons, even though they were terrified of him. Also, it didn't feel right. Having her caught would only be more trauma for her. The saying, if you love someone set them free, if they love you, they will come back, came to his mind. She'll never come back, not to that house. Tears filled his eyes thinking that he just couldn't let her go when she had no where else to go. She could get hurt and he wouldn't even know. Though he still couldn't bring himself to set goons after her. That constantly felt wrong. And also after what he did that night that he lost it when she went to leave him, he felt he didn't deserve to have her anyway. But he couldn't let her leave. His mind went in circles and he sank to the floor.

His father rarely saw him these days though he still did jobs for his fathers people. He had become depressed and didn't wish to answer any of his fathers questions. He had brought back a whore a month after Elisha had left to keep appearances up to his father. When she had begun to freak out like they always do he taped her mouth shut and talked to her about Elisha. When he finished, they both stared at each other. He said, I've never told anyone about her and I'm sorry but I can't let you tell anyone. He reached over and choked her gently to death. He prepared her body like all the others at the same time deciding this wasn't doing any good for him. Then, finally told his father that he had lost the desire for human flesh. He had thought of recreating the relationship he had with Elisha with someone else. But then he thought of his life as becoming one of those horrible predicable tragic crime documentaries and knew that it wouldn't work. A few times he had spent hours in a 24 hour diner fantasizing about her showing up like she had suggested they meet in the past.

One evening, Kevin sat in the middle of his bed thinking about Elisha. He had not told his father what had gone on with her and that she stole his car that night. He lied and told him it was a whore who had managed to escape and that he'd take care of it. He sighed, sliding through the pictures of her on his phone. There where many pictures of her, one right after the other. Pretty, blonde, blue eyed and not like the others. She could be anywhere. He thought an associate of his father could possibly help him find her again, someday.


End file.
